Feed: Cats Discover Cure for Bolimia - AggScore: 14.0

Cats Discover Cure for Bolimia

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My mother started feeding a stray cat one Autumn but all she had in the house were cans of tuna at the first feedings. We thought that the cat was a neighbor's cat a few houses down from us. When they moved out they somehow forgot to take their cat with them. But I later learned that this was entirely wrong. The stray cat kept trying to come inside our house and so we knew it was an indoor cat used to the comforts of a home. But my mother would not let the cat inside. As time went by the climate became very cold and my mother finally relented and let the cat into our basement one very cold winter night. Cat soon took full possession of her new home and has never left her new castle of love. Kitty became spoiled and eventually trained her humans to feed her only the expensive tuna instead of regular canned cat foods normal cats eat. Little did we know she was planning to give Human animals a gift of knowledge to help their own cubs. Tom was a yellow stray that was very thin when young. He was fed over the strong objections of Kitty who saw him as a competitor of human love and tuna. But when Kitty drove him away hunger made him circle around and come again to feed at our household. And so in time two stray cats adopted a new human household and began their work of teaching mankind. After a year of feeding tuna instead of cat foods first Kitty and then Tom developed bolimia and often made a mess for their humans to clean up. But their human were not wise in the teachings of Cat and so resisted the learning. Many months went by and still the humans were ignorant of Kitty and Tom's message to mankind. Humans do not speak Cat and are very ignorant in Cat Sign Language and so cats must suffer our retarded behavior and be as patient as cats stalking a prey. Eventually one human learned of high mercury in tuna and thought that that might be the cause of their cat's bolimia and so a new diet was tried of half tuna and regular cat food. And this worked well for several years and reduced the bolimia in half or more. But my mother could not be swayed to end the tuna altogether because she feared the loss of her master's love. When my mother died I went to work as a butler for the two cats that owned the household. I was convinced that the tuna and the mercury were causing me to have much work to do cleaning cat vomit. And so I ended the addictive tuna heaven diet of old and gave instead seafood heaven in its place. I was ready to disobey my two Cat masters at any cost because I feared for their safety from the poison of mercury in the tuna. But to my surprise they did not discipline me harshly when I ended their tuna heaven diet. They only smiled and looked wise that one human had finally begun to learn a new trick they had taught it. In the coming weeks the vomit of cats became less and less and soon ended for good. And I became apprehensive for what new lessons my masters would teach me. I could not sleep well for many days and nights watching for a sign of a new trick. But none came and two cats were silient. The Zen of cats was in the nothingness of silence. Finally, I could take the silence no longer and I reached out to other humans in this article to find solace and a possible solution for my torture. Then Kitty and Tom came to me now and smiled the Cat smile knowingly and they saw that their human had learned a new trick.-- J.E. Ante PS. Tom Cat, says that in addition to mercury poisoning from tuna and other large prey fish that causes bolimia many humans are poisoned by ordinary mustard that goes bad and spoils over time. But humans are ignorant of this because the poisons in spoiled mustards are tasteless to them. But cats know better.