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Don't make New Year's resolutions for yourself... make them for others. It's easier, more fun, less

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by Dr. Jeffrey Lant



It's the time of the year for the obligatory New Year's resolutions. You know, what I mean:



I plan to go on a diet and become chic and svelte by Valentine's Day.



I will go to the gym every other day, so help me Hannah. Muscles and enticing curves, or bust.



I will eschew the delights of eating one sugar-soaked Little Debbie after another.



I will... but you get the idea.



There is something abhorrent about admitting that you are imperfect. I don't like it at all.



New Year's resolutions imply that you have somehow fallen beneath the high standard of perfection, that there is something not quite right about you, a nagging something that needs instant attention.



But what could that be?



Like you, I look in the mirror of a morning and, despite advancing age, I see nothing but the spitting image of one who is, indeed, the fairest of them all. It affronts me to think otherwise.



Thus, while wishing to do my bit to uphold the traditions of Auld Lang Syne and making resolutions, I find it hard to do so... as I have nothing to improve and everything to enjoy.



Hence this modest idea: give up resolution making for yourself... and focus your full attention upon the others, lamentable, imperfect, with a pressing need for overhauls small and large.



Draw up a list of persons known to you with glaring, jarring imperfections.



Do not stint. Remember, you are performing a useful act, a noble act, and act of kindness and empathy. As such, let yourself go... think of your aging peers and their shocking habits... of your relatives who have outlived the excuse of "puppy fat."



Think of your loud, too boisterous, ear-splitting friends... and the motor-mouths whose decided opinions on everything under the sun are, perhaps, de trop.



Think of the always-late delivery boy and those with too many unattended felines in a confined space and the olfactory discomfort thereby occurring.



Think, I say, think of prevaricating politicians... and those with nookie on their minds and an acute inability to contain it. Look around you and weigh in with a will...for you have many resolutions to craft and far too little time in which to offer them. Timing is everything, after all, and New Year's resolutions in March seem, well, tardy. Act now.



Now write the New Year's resolutions -- for others.



This part could be troublesome and demands your full attention and craft. Resolutions must be simple, straightforward, honest and at least potentially do-able. Thus, calling your insufficiently loved and abundantly padded brother-in-law fat just won't do. Try this instead:



New Year's resolution of brother-in-law Bob:



To lose 15 pounds by month's end.



And then your signature and the date.



Keeping your resolutions short, sweet, and to the point is de rigueur.



Mail the resolution... email the resolution. Only ensure that your kind thought for their betterment and perfection reaches them early in January.



Imagine how grateful, how pleased the recipient will be when he of pronounced embonpoint receives this missive and its kind and thoughtful message becomes apparent.



Send your New Year's resolutions even to those near and dear who share your abode and are bosom buddies and dear companions on your earthly journey.



The temptation, even for those expert and experienced in providing life enhancing New Year's resolutions for others, will be to personally deliver, message upon hallmarked silver salver, your resolutions to the people near at hand, spouse, children, impecunious sons in law, etc. You will think of their profoundly grateful responses, you will think of the affection and love in their eyes. You will hear with delight words so lavish and abject that even that practised purveyor of the obsequious Uriah Heep would be put to shame. No, you do not want to miss a moment.



But you must.



For your recipient will need a moment or two to compose himself and, no doubt, let fall the grateful tear, that you should care so much and have gone to so much bother on their behalf. Allow them a moment of reflection in privacy, as they think how grateful, how very grateful, they are to have such a one as you in their (otherwise imperfect) life.



Savor this moment, glass of grog at hand for you have done the very best of deeds. Sing under your breath this little-remembered chorus from Robert Burns' immortal annual anthem of maudlin sentimentality, Auld Lang Syne:



"We two have run about the slopes, and picked the daisies fine ; But we've wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne."



And now, gratitude, indeed.



As I was finishing up this practical report, there was a knock at the door... then the telephone rang... then I noticed a decided up tick in my email. I was not surprised... I was expecting such a deluge. After all, I had contacted many with a hearty abundance of resolutions, necessary, specific, in depth, all resoundingly honest to a fault. Now, no doubt, the expected responses, the epistles of gratitude and fulsome thanks were at hand.



Ou la la!



Imagine my surprise upon reading the first of these messages:



New Year's Resolution of Dr. Jeffrey Lant...:



signed



your loving sister



Then the one signed by my (concerned) brother, my (worried) father, one jointly signed by my (still affectionate) niece and nephew, my (who-else-could-tell-you?) best friend, my (long suffering) partners... even my (silent-until-now) driver and his wife.. .and all the very many others.



It was jolting to be sure to learn that so many felt so strongly there was so much of me to enhance and correct. But these messages, profoundly honest, stimulated the only New Year's resolution I shall make this year: to love them all, warts and all, and be profoundly glad I have them in my life.



Happy New Year, 2011!



About The Author



Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., where small and home-based businesses learn how to profit online. Attend Dr. Lant's live webcast TODAY and receive 50,000 free guaranteed visitors to the website of your choice! Dr. Lant is also the author of 18 best-selling books. Republished with author's permission by Jonathan Steyn
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