Summary: The Show Speak
Sports blogging randomness with a puropose.
Phoenix - Burning the midnight
oil on a mission to provide Pittsburgh Pirates General Manager Bad
Deal Neal Huntington some next level knowledge for his
run
for 81 (wins) this year, I came across a few burning questions
that peaked my curiosity about the 2012 Pittsburgh Pirates and, of
course, other random topics that have nothing to do with
baseball.
First, the random topics.
Scouring the sports pages of the
LA Times in an
attempt to decode the success of the 2012 Los Angeles Dodgers and
report back to Bad Deal Neal my findings, I came across an article
about the home stadium of the USC Trojans football program,
the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. According to the
LA Times article, the Los Angeles Coliseum was used
as the
site for a porn film. I'm not sure which I
am more
curious about...the fact the Coliseum was a
video shoot location for "The Gang Bang Girl #32" or the fact
the
LA Times decided to run an article about this a
decade after the 2002 production was released.
Splendid investigative reporting by the
LA
Times. A man of Bad Deal Neal's stature can
certainly admire the forsight.
(Side note: Does anyone else find it
ironic that the star of the movie goes by the name
of "Mr. Marcus?" Marcus Allen, not
the...cough-cough...movie star was a star running back at USC from
1978-1981. Additionally, OJ Simpson (Juice)
wore #32 at USC, bringing the coincidence total to two in
this investigation of investigative reporting. I guess
the "Juice" wasn't the only one on the loose in
the Coliseum. Somewhere, super USC fan Snoop Dog
is curious how he got left out of this equation.)
While completing this important research for Bad Deal Neal, an
advertisement from Fifth Third Bank popped up on my
screen.
What is the significance of a Fifth Third Bank advertisement you
ask?
|
|
Be like Curious
George, start with a question and look under the hat
to find what's there.
|
Fifth Third Bank's slogan is "The Curious Banker."
I'm
curious who the advertising agency is. A
curious bank (er)?
I want my cartoons to have a monkey character that is
curious, not my bank. I'm
curious how long
it took for Fifth Third Bank to
repay their $3.4 billion in TARP funds.
I'm
curious about the timing of Duke Energy guaranteeing a
$10,000,000 credit line to the Democratic National Committee, a
credit line
issued by Fifth Third Bank.
I'm
curious if there is corruption in D.C. and Wall
Street?
(Stop laughing)
I'm curious if Bad Deal Neal had anything to do with
this.
I'm curious what I may have for lunch tomorrow.
Bad Deal Neal is probably curious why I am discussing poor banking
advertising slogans and decade old "flicks" instead of funneling
him the next level knowledge mentioned in paragraph one that may
lead the Pirates to their first non losing season in 20 years.
I'm curious about where I can find a
Pittsburgh Parrot costume for Halloween
if Bad Deal Neal screws up the
run for 81.
Magic # 56.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Follow @BadDealNeal on twitter for insightful Pirate
chatter from someone that isn't me.
Date Published: May 31, 2012 - 12:46 am
St. Louis - The
"
Walk off a Hero" program probably did not expect the type
of publicity a naked streaking fan and an opportunistic AP
photographer provided for them at Busch Stadium Thursday
evening.
|
|
Evolution of the Rally Squirrel? (Photo: AP)
|
The
St. Louis Post Dispatch stated the twenty-two-year-old
Collin Grundstrom of Jefferson City was captured at Busch Stadium
after shedding his clothes before the start of the seventh inning
Thursday night.
Officers retrieved his shorts from the stands and made him put them
back on before leading him away.
Grundstrom is charged with violating two city ordinances -- being a
spectator running on the playing field, and lewd and lascivious
behavior. He was jailed overnight.
The "
Walk off a Hero" program, sponsored by Budweiser,
will donate
$5,000 to the Folds of Honor Foundation for
every walk off win in Major League Baseball in 2012.
Please feel free to add your "
short end of the stick
jokes" about the naked streaker......now
.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
H/T
Folds of Honor,
St. Louis Post Dispatch
Date Published: May 25, 2012 - 6:15 pm
On March 17, 2005, former major league baseball slugger Mark
McGwire testified at a Congressional hearing on steroids in
baseball. McGwire was dressed in a business suit, green tie
in honor of St. Patrick's Day, wearing reading glasses and an
expression of bottled up shame.
McGwire indirectly enacted his 5th Amendment rights
that afternoon in Washington D.C. and repeated in
various patterns that he was not there to "talk about the
past, but was there to be positive about the subject." At the
time, not talking about the past and being positive about the
subject amounted to him screaming I'm guilty as charged and I want
to move on.
And for five years, move on is what he did.
McGwire reportedly kept a low profile with his family in Southern
California, playing golf and doing some independent hitting
instruction work - which included current big leaguers
Matt Holliday and Skip Schumaker.
Then, his former manager, Tony LaRussa reached out to him via text
offering him an opportunity to become the St.
Louis Cardinals hitting instructor. On October 25, 2009, Mark
McGwire accepted the chance to get back in the game he once revived
with fellow steroid star, Sammy Sosa.
Additionally, McGwire took the opportunity to set the record
straight and admitted his steroid use during his 583 home run
career.
Before the Spring of 2010, McGwire confirmed his steroid use
- validating the long time opinion of the public. McGwire did
what he had to do by admitting use, and was then free to do what he
had to do - be the St. Louis Cardinals hitting instructor without
whispers.
|
|
Chase Field -
Matt Holliday hits a home run for the St. Louis Cardinals
(Photo-Craig Turley)
|
The 2011 St. Louis
Cardinals led the league in runs scored, batting average and
on-base percentage. The Redbirds were also the only team in
the National League to strike out less than 1,000 times under
McGwire's tutelage. Oh yea - you may have also heard they won
the World Series.
This year?
Even better. The Cardinals, minus one mega superstar named
Albert, lead the National League in batting average (.285), on base
percentage (.356), slugging percentage (.469), and are second in
runs scored (198) to the Atlanta Braves.
In addition, there
has been a revitalization of stagnant careers of former All Star's
Rafael Furcal, Carlos Beltran, and Lance Berkman - all of whom at
one point over the last few years were considered "past their
prime." Furcal is second in the league in hitting, behind
only David Wright, with a .359 batting average; while Beltran leads
the National League in home runs (13) and is second in runs batted
in (32). All this offense while Pujols is struggling in
Anaheim and Lance Berkman has been injured. The Cardinals
batting lineup has been so good this year that All Star catcher
Yadier Molina is hitting .301 and he has the seventh highest batting
average on the team.
McGwire has done
the job.
Seven years ago,
McGwire was a picture of shame and embarrassment.
The other baseball stars that day testifying were Rafael Palmeiro,
Sammy Sosa, Jose Canseco, and Curt
Schilling.
Palmeiro was the
most theatrical that day, emphatically waiving his finger in
anger (as guilty people do) that he has never used steorids.
Palmeiro tested positive for steroids five months
later. Palmeiro stated that he never knowingly ingested the
steroids - just like certain Presidents never inhaled.
Palemeiro continues to deny knowingly using steroids.
Meanwhile, Sammy
Sosa forgot English that very day in March and has not been heard
of much since. In a 2009 report, the New York Times
confirmed Sosa was one of 104 players that
tested positive for steroids in 2003.
Although Canseco
was correct on many of the players he implicated in his book about
steroids, he continues to tweet irrational things and was banned from a Mexican baseball leauge this past
spring for refusing to take a drug test.
Schilling, the
most outspoken critic of performance enhancing drugs during and
after his playing days, has run into other issues.
Schilling's company, 38 Studios, recently missed a $1.13 million
debt payment to the state of Rhode Island. Schilling has
frequently been quoted as saying that if you used steroids in
baseball, you should not be eligible for the hall of fame in
baseball. I am curious how he feels about second
chances now.
Mark McGwire does
deserve a second chance. Mark McGwire has earned a second
chance.
He may have been
the only truthful soul at the Congressional hearing March 17,
2005 - including Congress.
He wasn't ready
that day to talk about the past.
He has done that
now.
He has become a
positive influence through his actions, not words.
Well done Big
Mac.
Until Next
Time,
Craig
Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: May 17, 2012 - 12:36 am
Every week in sports has its share of ridiculousness, controversy,
and finger pointing. However, this week appears to have an
unbalanced amount of ridiculousness.
Do you know who's fault it is?
Yep, the Green Bay Packers.
At least that is what the midwest grocery chain Roundy's indicated
in it's weak Q1 earnings released this week.
Courtesy
Solitude Canyon Investment
Advisors:
This sounds like it's straight from the pages of the Onion...in
their earnings press release, midwest grocer Roundy's said their Q1
sales came in light because:
|
|
Will it be
the Packers fault if the Lakers lose
tonight?
|
"results were also negatively affected by lower sales
during the 2012 pro football postseason playoffs compared to 2011
when the Green Bay Packers appeared in the Super Bowl."
Seriously, you're blaming the Packers?
Meanwhile, Andrew Bynum of the Los Angeles Lakers refused to be out
done by some silly corporate executive justifying their existence
by pointing the finger at the Green Bay Packers playoff
performance.
Earlier this week, with his Los Angeles Lakers in control of a best
of seven series against the Denver Nuggets 3-1, Bynum decided it
was time to voice his opinion of "close out" games.
Courtesy Larry Brown Sports:
Lakers fans looking for someone to blame for the 102-99 Game 5
loss to the Nuggets on Tuesday night have a scapegoat:
Andrew Bynum.
The Lakers center said prior to the potential series-ending
game that “Close-out games are actually kind of easy. Teams tend to
fold if you come out and play hard in the beginning, so we want to
come out and establish an early lead and protect it.”
Yeah- what 'Drew said.
Tune into
Game 7 tonight as the Lakers attempt to close
out the Nuggets for the third time this week. Maybe third
time is the charm...eh 'Drew?
Finally, reviewing the positive side of "ridiculousness," look no
further than Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers.
Since May 7, Hamilton has nine home runs.
Nine.
Red hot Josh Hamilton May 7,
2012 thru May 12, 2012
|
AB
|
R
|
H
|
HR
|
RBI
|
BA
|
|
25
|
10
|
12
|
9
|
15
|
0.400
|
Hamilton has hit
five more home runs than the San Diego
Padres in the 2012 MLB season (18-13), and he has moved within one
home of the team totals of the Chicago Cubs and Minnesota Twins
(19).
Good: Josh Hamilton
Not Good: Roundy's grocery and Andrew Bynum.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: May 12, 2012 - 6:06 pm
If you have been idly wasting your time and preparing for the end
of the world correlating with the Mayan calendar dated December 21,
2012, perhaps, you've missed the sizzling play of the Texas Rangers
Josh Hamilton.
Hamilton hit four home runs on May 8, 2012 against the Baltimore
Orioles in an obvious sign of solidarity supporting the hypothesis
the end is near based on the aforementioned Mayan
calendar. According to the
Elias Sports
Bureau, there have been 16 games in major-league history in
which a single player hit four home runs. The chance of
seeing this based on the 200,519 regular-season games all ready
played in MLB history? One in 12,532.
Josh Hamilton has now hit more home runs this season than the San
Diego Padres as a team. Hamilton has 14 and the Padres
have 12 team home runs.
|
|
Phoenix -
Matt Holliday rounds the bases after a HR May 7,
2012 (Photo: Craig
Turley)
|
Additionally, while emphasizing the power outage going
on in San Diego, I witnessed the St. Louis Cardinals
hit seven home runs in 11 innings of baseball earlier
this week against the Arizona Diamondbacks.
Good: Josh Hamilton, the Texas
Rangers and the St. Louis Cardinals.
Not Good: San Diego hitting,
Baltimore pitching, and Arizona pitching.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: May 09, 2012 - 7:27 pm
Generation "X" just got a little older this week.
Two days, two deaths.
One story is a mystery without a satisfying solution.
The other, a brilliant novel that ended to soon.
The
death of Junior Seau, former NFL All Pro
linebacker, is a mystery that is without a satisfying
solution. Seau was found dead on Wednesday due to a self
inflicted gun shot wound to the chest. Seau was 43 years
old.
While many will speculate on why someone of Seau's status would
commit suicide, we will never know. There is no definitive
answer to this complex question regarding Seau or any other
victim of suicide. No one knows the emotional darkness, the
tenacious chronic emotional pain, nor the screaming inside his
head that made it impervious to rationale thought at the moment
of final crisis.
It was a premature end to the life of a pro football hall of
famer. (to be)
The
death of the Beastie Boy co founder Adam
Yauch (MCA) is a sharp reminder that the ending of a great
novel prematurely doesn't make it any less of a great
novel. Yauch was a brilliant, funny, gentle soul that
redefined a genre of music and a generation of
people. Each reader can reach back in their personal
memory bag of Beastie Boy masterpieces and reflect with a warm,
self gratifying smile that you have to
Fight For Your Right
To Party. As MCA said it best, he was "
too sweet
to be sour, too nice to be mean."
It was a premature end to the life of a rock and roll hall of
famer.
(2012)
What is not premature is the ability to celebrate two icons
of Generation "X" - my generation.
"
Time for Livin'", a
Sly & the Family Stone cover by the Beastie Boys:
Yeah, that's right
It's time to set the record straight
Ain't nobody got to spell it for me
Ain't nobody got to yell I can see
Ain't nobody got the pain I can hear
But if I have to I'll yell in your ear
Time for living
Time for giving [x4]
For me, it is Time for Livin', while for Junior and
Adam, there is no more pain.
With sadness and celebration - thank you #55 and MCA.
Thank you.
Until Next Time,
ct
Coldplay tribute to
Adam Yauch and the Beastie Boys on Friday
night:
A look back at #55's
career from chargersdotcom:
Date Published: May 06, 2012 - 3:39 pm
I love Jim Irsay on
twitter.
Today's special from the entertaining owner of the Indianapolis
Colts-
pick today's Kentucky Derby winner - win $300 and an
Andrew Luck jersey.
My picks are in. Feel free to piggy back and go head
to head with me in Abby's drawing for the winning prize.
Just follow me on
twitter along with Uncle Jim.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: May 05, 2012 - 11:17 am
The Pittsburgh Pirates are rolling into May with 10 wins - and I'm
celebrating by presenting Kate Upton doing the "Cat Daddy" -brought
to you by Terry Richardson.
Via
www.terrysdiary.com (
If video is down - find it at youtube or Terry's
site)
If anyone is still paying attention, the Pirates magic number
is 71 in
The Show Speak's quest to avoid being the
Pirate Parrot for Halloween 2012. They
lost to the St. Louis Cardinals 10-7 tonight.
What?
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: May 01, 2012 - 10:00 pm
Everyone has a NFL
Mock Draft.
Google
it.
38,400,000 results come up for
"NFL Mock Draft 2012."
Outside of a few experts and
my friend Bill, who has been analyzing potential drafts
since the 90s with a dry erase board, NO
ONE has a clue what will go down on NFL Draft
night.
Which presents the
question: "have you ever wondered why
bird poo is white and human poo is not?"
Me too.
I don't have the answer to the bird/human poo question; however, I
can tell you if a professional baseball player was drafted by their
corresponding city NFL franchise - this is how it would look
according to the
2nd Annual NFL "Side Show" Mock
Draft.
(Keep in mind some NFL teams are not in MLB cities.
Also, keep in mind that I make the rules and stray from basic
outline from time to time.)
Thanks to all that assisted in this bizarre, non sensible
experiment.
|
1
|
Colts
|
Phil
Humber
|
P
|
Chicago White
Sox
|
6-3
|
210
|
Why try to be lucky when you can
be perfect? The Colts Robert Irsay would not tweet me back
to confirm the lyrics to what he had going on through his head,
but I reason the Colts will go with Mr.
Perfect,, Phil Humber, as the number one pick in the baseball to
NFL Side Show Draft.
CT4REAL: Andrew Luck, QB, Stanford
|
2
|
Redskins
|
Alex
Rodriguez
|
3B
|
New York
Yankees
|
6-3
|
225
|
Albert Haynesworth to Deion
Sanders, Washington Redskin’s owner Dan Snyder consistently
overpays for past their prime douche bag talent. A-Fraud
qualifies in a grand way. Dan Snyder would gladly
stiff the Nationals home grown talent in The Show's Major
League Baseball talent to the NFL draft to ink
Mr. Purple
Lips and his B---H T----S.
Perfect match.
CT4REAL: Robert Griffin III, QB,
Baylor
|
3
|
Vikings
|
Joe
Mauer
|
C
|
Minnesota
Twins
|
6-5
|
230
|
The 2000 USA Today high school player of
the year, Joe Mauer, QB, St. Paul Cretin-Durham Hall
Raiders. Sorry Viking fans, but Christian Ponder was a
terrible draft pick that you will pay for the next five years
for. You can thank that Brett Favre guy. Mauer would be an
upgrade at QB –for
real.
CT4REAL: Matt Kalil, OT, USC
|
4
|
Browns
|
Willie Mays
Hayes
|
OF
|
Cleveland
Indians
|
5-9
|
178
|
The leadoff hitter for the Woo-hoo’s in the 1989 hit movie
Major League, Willie Mays Hayes (played by Wesley Snipes) would
add speed and class to a struggling Browns organization.
Did you know that Wesley Snipes played the character in the
original movie, however, Omar Epps took over the Willie Mays
Hayes character in Major League II?
Now you do.
CT4REAL: Justin
Blackmon, WR, OK ST
|
5
|
Buccaneers
|
Joe
Maddon
|
M
|
Tampa Bay
Rays
|
Cool
|
Hair
|
That's right. The coolest cat in the Tampa-ST. Pete
(aside from my man RG1) is Tampa Bay Rays manager Joe
Maddon. The Rays have guys that could play a little
football (notably: Desmond Jennings and B.J. Upton),
however the Buc's
best trade ever involved giving up two first
round picks, two second round picks and $8 million to the
Oakland Raiders for the rights to coach Jon Gruden.
Drafting Joe Maddon is a bargain, comparatively.
CT4REAL: Trent Richardson, RB,
BAMA
|
6
|
Rams
|
Lance
Lynn
|
P
|
St. Louis
Cardinals
|
6-5
|
250
|
In the words of McD in St. Lou-ie, Lynn
is a flat out "beast." At 6-5 and 250 lbs, there is no
doubt Lynn has the size to play in the NFL. He
is helping St. Louis Cardinal baseball fans forget ace
pitcher Chris Carpenter may be on the disabled list until the All
Star break.
Lynn-sanity.
CT4REAL: Michael Floyd, WR, ND
|
7
|
Jaguars
|
Tim
Tebow
|
?
|
God
Squad
|
6-2
|
236
|
Like the cartoon character
Savoir-Faire, who is everywhere, so is Tim Tebow.
Nothing else to add, except I
think Jacksonville Jaguar owner Shahid Khan has a
sweet mustache.
CT4REAL: Morris Claiborne, CB,
LSU
|
8
|
Dolphins
|
Carlos
Zambrano
|
P
|
Miami
Marlins
|
6-4
|
275
|
Every NFL team can use a little crazy, and that is what they can
have in Big Z. Zambrano is violent, angry, unstable and
could probably use a hug.
Unlikable Dolphins owner Steven Ross and Carlos
together - now that would be crazy.
Anyone wanna question this pick?
CT4REAL: Ryan Tannehill, QB,
TAMU
|
9
|
Panthers
|
Michael
Jordan
|
OF
|
Birmingham
Barons
|
6-6
|
250++
|
Lest we forget Michael Jordan was a shitty baseball player before
he was shitty owner of a shitty NBA basketball team.
Charlotte is about to become the worst NBA team win-loss
percentage wise in the history of the game. Playing a
little baseball and/or getting drafted by the Panthers may
make Michael forget about his problems like it did once
before....a few decades ago.
Insert joke here.
CT4REAL: Fletcher Cox, DT, MS ST
|
10
|
Bills
|
Josh
Hamilton
|
OF
|
Texas
Rangers
|
6-4
|
205
|
How does a Texas Ranger become a Buffalo Bill you ask? It
isn't easy. Buffalo doesn't have a solid baseball
community, so I had to do a little Side Show specialty
comparison. The Texas Rangers,
runner up in the last two World Series, are
becoming the Buffalo Bills of the NFL. The Bills were not
victorious in four consecutive Super Bowls. Josh Hamilton
is the best player on the second best team in baseball.
Got it?
CT4REAL: Mark Barron, S, Alabama
|
11
|
Chiefs
|
Jonathon
Broxton
|
P
|
Kansas City
Royals
|
6-4
|
300
|
Mr. Big Britches, Jonathon Broxton, is the only choice for the
Chiefs. Broxton already weighs in at a NFL ready 300 lbs.
and sports a pant size
two of his teammates can fit into.
No joke.
CT4REAL: Luke Kuechly, LB, BC
|
12
|
Seahawks
|
Edgar
Martinez
|
DH
|
Seattle
Mariners
|
6-0
|
175
|
The twitter legend
The Guru Stu stepped up and helped out the
Side Show draft with the selection of Edgar Martinez, the best DH
of all time. The Guru accurately pointed out the best
specialty player in Mariner's history would be an easy choice to
become the best long snapper of all time for the Seahawks.
Well done Guru Stu. #FACT.
CT4REAL: Courtney Upshaw, DE,
BAMA
|
13
|
Cardinals
|
Justin
Upton
|
OF
|
Arizona
Diamondbacks
|
6-2
|
215
|
My favorite Arizona Diamondback would be a both sides of the ball
standout. J-Up would team with RB Beenie Wells making
the Cardinals running attack a devastating two headed monster,
while roaming sideline to sideline dishing out punishment as
a Steve Atwater type of safety.
Yeah, don't believe the hype - but what else did you expect on
"my" pick?
CT4REAL: Riley Rief, OT,
Iowa
|
14
|
Cowboys
|
Darvish
Yu
|
P
|
Texas
Rangers
|
6-5
|
215
|
Did you really think that I would pass up the opportunity to
mention how funny it would be to see Yu Darvish (Darvish Yu) on a
mechanical bull? Keeping him in the
Dallas metro area all year around would increase the odds
that he goes all John Travolta at Gilley's.
Maybe Jerry Jones would rock some identity shielding sunglasses
to catch this act.
CT4REAL: Melvin Ingram, DE/OLB,
SC
|
15
|
Eagles
|
Ryan
Howard
|
1B
|
Philadelphia
Phillies
|
6-4
|
240
|
As my Philly guy Rob said, "Ryan Howard is a beast." Howard
could easily translate into an end rusher wreaking havoc on the
NFC East like he does the NL East in baseball. Current
achilles injury aside, I could see Ryan Howard becoming a beast
in the NFL.
Excellent selection Rob.
CT4REAL: Stephon Gilmore, CB, SC
|
16
|
Jets
|
Jon
Rausch
|
P
|
New York
Mets
|
6-11
|
290
|
Since all the New York Mets are injured, my Mets-Jets
correspondent elected to go with size. And Big Jon Rausch
has size at 6-11 and 290. I'm not sure how that would
translate on the football field every down, however, he would be
effective at disrupting field goals.
Who cares, it's the Jets/Mets. Moving on.
CT4REAL: Quinton Coples, DE, NC
|
17
|
Bengals
|
Drew
Stubbs
|
OF
|
Cincinnati
Reds
|
6-4
|
205
|
Drew Stubbs is focused. Drew Stubbs has speed. Drew
Stubb is prepared. He keeps a tool for strengthening hands
and forearms and a copy of former NFL coach Tony Dungy's book
“Quiet Strength: The Principles, Practices & Priorities
of a Winning Life” on his bedside table.
The Bengals may want to actually draft him to pair with AJ Green
at WR.
CT4REAL: Dre Kirkpatrick, CB,
BAMA
|
18
|
Chargers
|
Cameron
Maybin
|
OF
|
San Diego
Padres
|
6-3
|
210
|
Yaddy, the Southern California sports super fan, wasted no
time selecting Cameron Maybin for his beloved San Diego
Super Chargers. "Imagine Terrel Owens with Maybin's size,
speed, and ability to run down a ball."
Superb choice, couldn't have said it better.
CT4REAL: Whitney Mercilus, DE/OLB,
ILL
|
19
|
Bears
|
Ditka
|
C
|
Da
Bears
|
Da
|
Coach
|
Still reeling from the disappointment of the Blackhawks opening
round playoff loss to the Phoenix Coyotes in the NHL, Bears fan
decided it was best to stick with what they know - Da Coach.
CT4REAL: David DeCastro, OG,
Stanford
|
20
|
Titans
|
Scotty
McCreery
|
P
|
Garner (NC)
HS
|
American
|
Idol
|
Hey, the kid can pitch. McCreery is
pitching effectively for the Garner HS
baseball team. Nashville is not known as a baseball city,
however, Nashville can turn out some country music. Easy
choice since the American Idol winner can pitch and sing.
Easy choice.
CT4REAL: Chandler Jones, DE,
Syracuse
|
21
|
Bengals
|
Mike
Leake
|
P
|
Cincinnati
Reds
|
Criminal
|
Record
|
This is an obvious dig at ASU graduates. The Bengals have a
history of questionable character on their team. Mike
Leake, pitcher for the Cincinnati Reds, was
arrested for shoplifting last year. Yep,
a big league pitcher shoplifting.
He should fit right in with the Bengals.
CT4REAL: Jonathon Martin, OT,
Stanford
|
22
|
Browns
|
Shin-Soo
Choo
|
OF
|
Cleveland
Indians
|
5-11
|
205
|
Say it. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo
Choo. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo
Choo. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo Choo. Shin-Soo Choo.
You get the idea. I like saying Shin-Soo Choo.
CT4REAL: Harrison Smith, S, ND
|
23
|
Lions
|
Prince
Fielder
|
1B
|
Detroit
Tigers
|
5-11
|
275
|
The price tag of $214 million for Fielder to play for the Tigers
makes him obligated to play for the Lions as well.
Additionally, at 275 lbs, Fielder has the body type to play
alongside
Ndamukong Suh-per Dirty.
Matt Millen Approved.
CT4REAL: Shea McClellin, OLB/DE, Boise
St.
|
24
|
Steelers
|
Andrew
McCutchen
|
OF
|
Pittsburgh
Pirates
|
5-10
|
185
|
Andrew McCutchen can do it all. While most people in the
continental United States keep up to speed on the Pirates through
my frequent
Pirate Parrot Costume updates, they really
should be paying attention to McCutchen.
He is the real deal.
CT4REAL: Amini Silatolu, G/T,
Midwestern ST
|
25
|
Broncos
|
Jamie
Moyer
|
P
|
Colorado
Rockies
|
6-0
|
185
|
My Denver fans said "Tulo" and "Car-go." However,
since the Broncos won the Manning sweepstakes
instead of my beloved Cardinals, I chose to
override their selections and pick 49 year old pitcher, Jamie
Moyer, for the Broncos.
Take that.
CT4REAL: Dontario Poe, DT,
Memphis
|
26
|
Texans
|
Jose
Altuve
|
2B
|
Houston
Astros
|
5-5
|
170
|
Have you seen Jose Altuve play baseball? At 5-5 and 170
lbs, he wouldn't appear to have much value in the NFL; however,
as my guy Robert Garner
(ghostheadfinder) stated: "could you imagine
Altuve returning kicks for the Texans."
I agree.
CT4REAL: Stephen Hill, WR, GA
TECH
|
27
|
Patriots
|
Dustin
Pedroia
|
2B
|
Boston Red
Sox
|
5-8
|
165
|
The Patriots undoubtedly wanted to trade down and stock pile more
draft picks. However, since it is my draft and this is the
one place Bill Belichick can't control, I make Boston fans select
Dustin Pedroia. Consider him Danny Woodhead 2.0.
Ha Ha Bill B.
CT4REAL: They will trade this
pick.
|
28
|
Packers
|
Ryan
Braun
|
OF
|
Milwaukee
Brewers
|
6-1
|
200
|
Ryan Braun is the reigning MVP, the king of questioning positive
drug tests, and the love of Wisconsin. Packer fans, like
Brewer fans, bleed the colors of their team and to hell with
everyone else.
Perfect fit.
CT4REAL: Doug Martin, RB, Bosie
St
|
29
|
Ravens
|
Skipped
|
|
Skipped
|
Forgot
|
Whoops
|
The 2011 NFL draft. The Ravens thought they had a deal done
with the Chicago Bears, and it did not get completed because one
Bear executive thought the other Bear executive submitted the
finalized terms to the NFL. Meanwhile, the Ravens were on
the clock and ran out of time when it was their turn to
select.
Ouch.
CT4REAL: Dont'a Hightower, LB,
BAMA
|
30
|
49ers
|
Pablo
Sandoval
|
3B
|
San Francisco
Giants
|
5-11
|
240
|
Kung-FU Panda. At 240 lbs. and the best nickname in
baseball, Pablo Sandoval is an easy selection for Jim Harbaugh's
49ers. Additionally, the San Francisco fans can wear those
sweet Kung Fu Panda hats all year around.
No brainer.
CT4REAL: Kendall Wright, WR,
Baylor
|
31
|
Patriots
|
Kevin
Youkalis
|
3B
|
Boston Red
Sox
|
6-1
|
220
|
Youkalis' draft stock is really sliding. Kevin has had his
physical and emotional dedication questioned by a former manager
of the Chiba Lotte Marines of the Nippon Professional Baseball
League. Risky pick for the Patriots, but they have like a
bajillion picks later in the draft, so they can afford to take a
risk here.
Seriously.
CT4REAL: Nick Perry, DE, USC
|
32
|
Giants
|
Curtis
Granderson
|
OF
|
New York
Yankees
|
6-1
|
195
|
I love saying the G-Men. I also love if anyone can, the
Grandy Man can. The G-Men and the Grandy-Man.
Unfair.
CT4REAL: Michael Brockers, DT,
LSU
NO PICKS in the first round:
Atlanta, Oakland and New Orleans.
Enjoy the 2012 NFL Draft and thanks to all that helped with
the 2nd Annual NFL "Side Show" Mock Draft.
I. AM. OUT.
Until Next Time,
Date Published: Apr 26, 2012 - 1:36 am
Title got your attention?
Well, if the title got your attention, the hot hitting and hot
pitching Texas Rangers will keep it.
The Rangers have scored 100 runs in 2012 and have only
given up 49 runs year to date for an astonishing +51 run
differential.
It is only April 24th.
The Texas offense is led by former MVP Josh Hamilton, who is
hitting .400 with 8 HR's and 19 RBI's in the young season.
Word on the street is Hamilton is also hitting in day games, which
is contrary to the excuse his
blue eyes make it more difficult for him to hit
during day games.
I tend to agree - hitting a
baseball in the daytime with blue eyes is difficult and was
probably the most influential impediment to my aspirations of
becoming a major league baseball player.
The 14-4 Texas Rangers are seeking to their 3rd straight World
Series appearance in 2012 after finishing runner up the last two
seasons to the St. Louis Cardinals (2011) and San Francisco
Giants (2010).
Now, if Japanese pitching phenom Darvish Yu would
ride the mechanical bull at Gilley's, it would
be a perfect start to the 2012 baseball season.
from 30 Teams in 30
Sentences:
Texas
Rangers: The twisted imaginary
images of Japanese pitching phenom Darvish Yu riding the
mechanical bull at Gilley's nightclub in Dallas,
Texas decked out in a big cowboy hat and a big ass belt
buckle impressing the local cowgirls who
are undoubtedly soaked in an overabundance of powerful
vanilla scented stripper perfume and sporting identity
shielding sun glasses is so worth this non baseball related
run on sentence.
Mmm, vanilla scented stripper perfume....
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
(Pittsburgh Pirate Parrot
Magic Number is 74)
Date Published: Apr 24, 2012 - 11:14 pm
What's better than watching the Boston Red Sox slowly blow a 9-0
lead* to the New York Yankees on a Saturday afternoon?
Phil Humber of the Chicago White Sox pitching the 21st perfect game
in major league history -
that's what.
Here are the fun facts rolling off twitter following Humber's
perfect gem.
I'm with Giants Nirvana -
HAHA, Holy Shit,
WOW.
Congrats Phil Humber.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@that_dude_ct
*The Yankees have cut the Red Sox 9-0 lead to 9-8 at time of
publishing. Bobby Valentine has got to be freaking the f-bomb
out.
Date Published: Apr 21, 2012 - 5:05 pm
Congratulations to the participants of the 8th annual Pat Tillman
run in Tempe, Arizona honoring former Arizona State University and
Arizona Cardinal standout Pat Tillman. Tillman was killed in
Afghanistan on April 22, 2004 by friendly fire and his death was
covered up in cowardly fashion by the country and government that
he so unselfishly served.
|
|
Photo by Bill - his 8th year participating in Pat's run.
|
From the Pat Tillman Foundations:
Be Inspired. Give Back. Run | Walk | Honor
Pat’s Run is the signature fundraising event for the Pat
Tillman Foundation. Held annually in April at Arizona State
University’s Sun Devil Stadium, the event attracts more
than 35,000 participants, volunteers and spectators from
across the country. Together they Run, Walk and Honor Pat’s
legacy while raising important funds to support the programs
created to pay tribute to his commitment to leadership and
service.
Pat’s Run features a 4.2 mile run/walk, a .42 mile Kids Run
for children 12 and under and a Finish Line Expo. The
4.2 mile course winds through the
streets of Tempe and both events are staged so that all
participants finish on the 42-yard line on Frank Kush Field
inside Sun Devil Stadium, symbolic of the #42 jersey that Pat
wore while he was a Sun Devil. Proceeds from Pat’s Run directly
support the Tillman Military Scholars
program.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Date Published: Apr 21, 2012 - 10:54 am
As I prepare for the 2nd annual sideshow NFL Mock Draft, I
thought it would be fun to repost last year's 1st Annual Sideshow
NFL Mock Draft, basically making a mockery out of mock
drafts.
This year's 2nd Annual Sideshow NFL Mock Draft will involve my
selection of Major League Baseball players by each NFL
franchise. The selection criteria will revolve around need,
humor, and ridiculousness. Please feel free to text me your
baseball player selection for your favorite NFL franchise.
Please note text rates may apply - however, personally, I have
unlimited text - so get to it 602 930 2529. Saturday at 3 PM
MST is the deadline.
Repost from 4/28/2011
1st Annual "Side Show" NFL Draft:
Everyone has a Mock NFL
Draft. Google it. Everyone. Google
Search "2011 NFL Mock Draft" and you get over 2,500,000
results. Outside of a few experts, and my friend Bill
(who has been
analyzing potential drafts since the 90s with a dry erase
board), NO ONE has a clue what
will go down on NFL Draft night.
Yesterday, listening to 1560 The Game Sports Radio, they
produced their 4th annual "Seinfeldian Mock Draft"
(SMD) hosted by Sean Pendergast. The SMD is a draft
where you can pick almost anything you want. You want
"The Force" from Star Wars? How about a "fart
machine"? Greg Oden's manhood has been
selected. The Republic of Texas was chosen and then
annexed as SE Orange County. I think you get it, there is
no logical answer in the SMD or the NFL Draft. For
that, I thank 1560 The Game for a great production. They
should get credit for a Public Service Announcement.
(Listen to the podcast here, it's worth
it)
What is a hybrid of
the SMD, a true NFL Mock Draft and some reference to the 1st
round of tonights NFL Draft? I present to you, the 1st
Annual Side Show Draft.
RULES OF
DRAFT
-
No Current NFL
Players
-
No Draft Eligible
Players
-
Must be relevant to
the NFL Franchise
-
Can be a real person,
fictional person, a concept, a planet, and on and on and
on...etc
-
No Mel Kiper or Todd
McShay
-
Roger God-del gets the
first pick of the draft
-
I reserve the right to
make sh*t up as I go
Without further adieu, the
2011 Side Show Draft:
Mr. God-del
- selects "Diplomatic
Immunity" (in case the labor dispute drags on)
1. Carolina
(2-14) - "Coach K" - (why not?)
2. Denver
(4-12) - "A night out for Tim Tebow @
Shotgun Willie's"(strip bar, make it rain Timmy)
4. Cincinnati
(4-12) - "A probation officer" (the Bengals have ummm
a history)
5. Arizona
(5-11) - "Kurt Warner" *(he is technically eligible
since he retired per Side Show rules)
6. Cleveland
(5-11) - "Dignity" (rough times in Cleveland after the
"Decision" and all)
7. San Francisco
(6-10) - "The Ashes of Bill Walsh" (it was
between Walsh and Joe Montana)
8. Tennessee
(6-10) - "Sunshine, the QB from Remember the Titans"
(get it, Titans..& they need a QB)
9. Dallas
(6-10) "A bigger stadium G*d Dammit" (after not having
1200 seats avail at the SB this yr)
10. Washington
(6-10) - "Time machine" (to rescind the Albert
Haynesworth signing 2/27/09)
11. Houston (6-10)
- "A spot in NFL Europe" (Rick Smith, GM, was not
aware NFL Europe is no more)
12. Minnesota
(6-10) "A roofing contractor" (for the collapsed
dome in Minn)
13. Detroit (6-10)
- "Strike the Matt Millen years from the Record" (wow,
did he suck as a GM)
14. St. Louis
(7-9) - "Albert Pujols" (he is the only thing
that has hit in STL for years)
15. Miami (7-9)
- "A Bodyguard" (for Brandon Marshall)
16. Jacksonville
(8-8) "Tickets for TMZ's Hollywood Bus Tour" - (it's
not if, but when they move to LA)
17. Oakland
8-8 "A hot 20 year old nurse to wheel Al Davis
around" (give the crazy old dude a smile)
18. San Diego
(9-7) - "Marty Schottenheimer" (did you really think Norv would get you
over the top San Diego?)
19. New York
Giants (10-6) - "Cooper Manning" (what's better
than 1 Manning? 2!)
20. Tampa Bay
(10-6) - "John McKay's Old Floppy Hat" (see
pic)
21. Kansas City
(10-6) - "More beer! For Godsake we are in Kansas
City"
22. Indianapolis
(10-6) - "Cooper Manning" (what's better than 1
Manning? 2!!)
23. Philadelphia
(10-6) - "Bring Back the Jail at LFF" (eliminated
after 2 yrs of Linc. Fin. Field)
24. New Orleans
(11-5) - "NO selects Nicolas Cage to
take the opposing teams out on the town" (party!)
25. Seattle (7-9)
- "Sunshine" **(lucky sunshine slid to this spot w/KC
picking ahead of them)
26. Baltimore
(12-4) -"F*ck, it's our pick?" (Balt. missed
their spot in the draft tonight)
27. Atlanta
(13-3) - "We trade all of our picks for
Herschel Walker" (or Julio Jones)
28. New England
(14-2) "A muzzle for Rex Ryan, morals, 3 more draft
picks, a hair stylist for Tom Brady, 2007 version of
Randy Moss, David Tyree getting carpel tunnel, (hold on....they
are checking to see if the Red Sox or Celtics want
anything.....no..ok..a new hoodie...) (selfish
bastards)
30. New York
Jets - "A Babysitter" (for Antonio
Cromartie's kids and Mark Sanchez girlfriends)
31. Pittsburgh
(12-4) - "A MOB Enforcer" (to clean up Big Ben's
mishaps....just in case)
32. Green Bay
(10-6) - "Is that Brett Favre guy Available?"
*Sunshine the person in
the movie
**Sunshine, like THE
Sun
***Yes, Cooper Manning was
selected twice. Word has it the Peyton and Eli will
alternate weekends with Cooper.
Thanks
to Randall, the FakeRogerGoodel, and all the others
that assisted this mock draft in becoming
the 2,500,001 result in Google Search "Mock Draft."
Date Published: Apr 20, 2012 - 11:54 am
|
|
There are no
words to describe.
|
Taking a break from reading
Isaac Storm: A Man, A Storm,
and the Deadliest Hurricane in History, I signed on to my
twitter timeline to see what I was missing in the sports world this
evening.
Note: I did not miss the Pittsburgh Pirates
reducing their
CT won't be a Pirate Parrot for Halloween number to
76 with a 2-1 win over the Arizona Diamondbacks earlier today.
10 minutes of twitter:
So, what did I miss or perhaps, more
importantly, what did I learn during those 10 precious minutes
on my twitter timeline
@That_Dude_CT?
I learned that Bartolo Colon was absolutely masterful in his
pitching performance for the Oakland A's in a 6-0 win over the Los
Angeles Angels. Colon threw 82 of his 108 pitches for strikes
in eight innings of work. Evidently, according to my man Not
Buster Olney, it was because he was hungry.
Additionally, it was confirmed that Jose Canseco rarely has
anything of value to add to my timeline. Although, a few
responses to his ramblings were hilarious.
Finally, I discovered an epic pitchers duel was winding down in San
Francisco. Matt Cain of the Giants faced Cliff Lee of
the Philadelphia Phillies in a classic matchup of great
pitching. The Giants won 1-0 in 11 innings. No
mention from Not Buster Olney on the dining plans of either Matt
Cain or Cliff Lee following their effecient performances.
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
That's right, I'm on Facebook too.
Date Published: Apr 18, 2012 - 11:33 pm
The Pittsburgh Pirates defeated the Arizona Diamondbacks 5-4 in
front of yours truly and 19,197 other people on Tuesday night at
Chase Field in Phoenix, Arizona.
The win improved the Pirates to 4-7 and moved their
magic number to 77 games in pursuit of achieving my lofty
preseason expectations of the Bucs-
a non losing season
after 19 consecutive losing seasons.
|
The Pittsburgh Pirates celebrate being one game closer
to 81 wins
Photo by Craig Turley
|
Pittsburgh
Pirates: The
Pirates will sport a winning record for the first time since
Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit was popular 20 years
ago-- and YES,
I will rock the Pirate Parrot costume this year for Halloween if
the Pirates do NOT win
81 games. (tie goes to the
writer).
As baseball fans across the country prepare for the Pirates 20th
consecutive losing season behind the guidance of Pittsburgh's
General Manager Bad Deal Neal (Huntington), keep in mind there is a
long season ahead of us.....and that is why they play the game.
Of course, if you glanced at the last four hitters in the Pirates
lineup tonight, you would have noticed four major league hitters
batting averages below .100 on the young season.
Maybe I should pre order the Parrot costume just in case?
Until Next Time,
Craig Turley
@That_Dude_CT
Quick Notes of useless stuff: John McDonald hit his
first career National League home run in the Diamondback loss.
Did you know..... Willie Bloomquist finished 24th in stolen
base percentage last year - thanks Jumbo tron stats. Pedro
Alvarez is hitting .042 on the season after his 0-4 night,
including a fly out to deep center field in which Chris Young made
a tremendous catch crashing into the wall. Young left the
game with a right shoulder contusion and is day to day.
|
|
What size do these things come in? And where would I
order?
|
Date Published: Apr 18, 2012 - 12:40 am
