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C-a-C: ?It?s shaped kind of like this, and the fish flip out of the water?
"No, for real, it's like the worst thing you've ever seen. It lights up and makes noise, and it's gonna happen every time they hit a home run. You gotta see the animation of what this thing will look like in motion. It's awful as hell, yo. Forget about the 'Miami' Marlins ? always been a Jeff Conine man, always will be a Jeff Conine man.
"Hmm? What's that? Oh, hit me. ... 36? How the [EXPLETIVE] is that even possible?"
If that monstrosity in Miami can come to pass, then anything's possible, Tracy McGrady. (Also, the pit boss should probably take a look at that dealer.) It's hard to disagree with T-Mac on this one. Oh, well ? at least he can rock the lid of his choice and set himself adrift on Renteria-fueled memories bliss.
Best caption wins some more T-Mac-related memories, both blissful and less so. Good luck.
In our last adventure: What's Deron Williams' secret for full, pouty lips? Wouldn't YOU like to know! (Lip plumper. It's Turkish lip plumper. Which, somehow, isn't a dirty phrase.)
Winner, Chillkreme43: "I ate 10
lollipops."
Runner-up, Solomon Grundy: After playing way too much "Street Fighter" during the lockout, Deron Williams attempts to throw the hadouken at his Turkish opponents.
Second runner-up, Brenda: "I'm ready to play some paper football. Hey, I wonder if they call it paper soccer over here?"
NOTE: This second runner-up brought to you (not really) by ProPaperFootball.com, which is a real Web site that exists (really).
Shaquille ONeal Kevin Garnett Ray Allen Paul Pierce
Chris Andersen encourages children to solve Rubik?s Cubes
With the NBA lockout now in its fourth month, it's more
important than ever for out-of-work players to find constructive
ways to fill their time. After all, idle hands are the devil's
workshop, tools or playthings, depending on your chosen
translation of Scripture/preferred description of prehensile
multifingered extremities.
Some players choose to keep their hands busy by playing in high-scoring exhibition contests. Others prefer filming commercials in which they dunk over cars. Denver Nuggets forward/center/iconoclast Chris Andersen, though? This weekend, his hands were full with encouraging Colorado schoolchildren to fill their hands with Rubik's Cubes.
From Kristina Iodice's advance story in the (Colorado Springs) Gazette:
Those who want to see real puzzle solving can check out a contest that's all about Rubik's Cubes and the kids who solve them ? without peeling off stickers.
Students from 14 schools across the Front Range will test their Rubik's Cube skills Saturday morning at the state's first "You CAN Do The Rubik's Cube" competition at the Colorado Springs City Auditorium.
The competition features a little star power. Denver Nuggets player Chris "Birdman" Andersen will offer commentary during the tournament and will present awards to the winners. Andersen is a Rubik's Cube fan and he supports an in-school program designed to foster students' science, technology, engineering and math (STEM) skills.
I appreciate the diligence of Iodice's reporting, but I'm sure we all already knew that Chris Andersen is a Rubik's Cube fan, because it is very obvious that he is committed to problem-solving.
When faced with the hypothetical problem of being stuck on a desert island and having to identify only one item he could bring with him, he solved that problem. When faced with the all-too-real problem of children having to meet an insufficiently boss Santa Claus, he solved that problem. And when faced with the realest problem ever ? the problem of having undecorated throat skin ? well, you know.
So, as the greatest tactical mind the NBA has ever seen, it is no surprise that Chris Andersen is a very big fan of Rubik's Cubes. Nor is it a surprise that, according to the parent of a student who participated in the event, which was part of the second annual Colorado Springs Cool Science Festival, Birdman "signed t-shirts, hats, jackets and Rubik's Cubes for all the competitors" and "did a great job rooting the kids on and joking along the way." After all, if he doesn't encourage the next generation of Cube-heads, who will?
Deron Williams Blake Griffin Kevin Love Rajon Rondo
NBA CBA ?A-B-Cs?: Restricted free agency
(When the NBA resumes play, the league will find itself dealing with a new collective-bargaining agreement, one that could impact how the Heat do business going forward. This is the eighth in a series of evaluations of such aspects.) The issue: Almost since its inception, restricted free agency has been a hot-button topic for both [...]
Andrew Bynum Lamar Odom Chauncey Billups Monta Ellis
Kobe Bryant finishes 7th in #NBARank
For the last few weeks, ESPN.com's hoops folk
have rolled out the results of our #NBARank project in which
every NBA player is placed in order from 500 to 1, based on the
evaluations of 91 hoops experts (or 89, depending on what you
think of Andy and me). For the most part, Lakers players formed the bread of an average
player sandwich, with only one player -- Metta World
Peace at 97 -- appearing between free agent
Shannon Brown (181) and Lamar
Odom at 44. But while there's a discussion to be had
regarding Andrew Bynum at 30 or Pau
Gasol at 11, the number most Lakers fans want to see is
the one assigned to Kobe Bryant.
Kobe Bryant didn't blow past Dwyane Wade in ESPN.com's #NBARank project.
Wait no longer. He finished seventh.Keeping in mind the rankings are meant to reflect current effectiveness as opposed to career achievement (Kobe is easily the most accomplished player in the league), are the results fair? More or less, yes.
Looking at the remaining players ahead of Kobe in no particular order, even factoring in his fourth-quarter failures in last year's Finals, LeBron James is, in my opinion, the best player in the league. He has led the league in win shares in each of the last three seasons and in PER in each of the last four. The question of James' buddy, Dwyane Wade, and Kobe and which is NBA's top shooting guard came up in a 5-on-5 panel on ESPN.com this past summer. I chose Wade then, and still would.
Mamba versus Dwight Howard isn't exactly an apples-to-apples comparison, but it's difficult to stridently complain about Bryant finishing behind a freakish athlete boasting his third straight NBA Defensive Player of the Year trophy. Howard's unquestioned status as the NBA's most dominant big man makes him at least one of the league's six best players, regardless of where you think Kobe ranks. And while I wouldn't have started the 2010-11 season saying Dirk Nowitzki is better than Bryant, given what he did through the season and playoffs, his elevated status is justifiable.
If comparing wings to centers is tough, comparing wings to 1s isn't much easier. But a healthy Chris Paul is the best point guard in a point guard's league coming off a great playoff series against the Lakers.
My only real complaint would be putting Kevin Durant ahead of Kobe. OKC's star is the best scorer in the league and at 23 still oozes potential, but Kobe is a better distributor and defender, and at his position is a better rebounder. Perhaps Durant was given too much credit for future growth and Kobe knocked too much for his mileage. Still, the results hardly qualify as a crime against humanity.
It's all fun debate fodder, but getting bogged down in the numbers distracts from the more important issue: When it comes to measuring the Lakers' title hopes this season, what exactly does it mean that Kobe is, at least by one count, not a top-five guy?
Very little.
Source: http://espn.go.com/blog/los-angeles/lakers/post/_/id/22868/kobe-bryant-finishes-7th-in-nbarank
Tim Duncan Manu Ginobili Tony Parker Brook Lopez
NBA Lockout: Eventual Deal Should Add Extra Flexibility In Free Agency, Trade Market
Source: http://www.sactownroyalty.com/2011/10/24/2510841/nba-lockout-2011-sacramento-kings-free-agency-trade
Tony Parker Brook Lopez Ron Artest Dwight Howard
Video: Kevin Durant raps, remains a human being
(Warning: Potential NSFW language in this video, if you find it intelligible.)
During last summer's World Championships in Turkey, Team USA leader Kevin Durant was typically held up as a sign of everything right with basketball. He's humble, kind, and really good at his job. His purity was overblown at times, but the positive assessments were most definitely earned. Durant is a rare person and someone who NBA fans should cherish.
However, we've learned in recent months that Durant is a more complicated figure than the glowing accounts usually suggest. While he is indeed more humble than the vast majority of professional basketball players, he also has more in common with them than many moralists would like to admit. He's as much a product of his environment and era as any other player in the league.
We've already discussed his tattoos on BDL, and now the Thunder star is trying his hand at rapping. In the video above, Durant raps with fellow artists Privaledge and C.L. McCoy (plus teammate Russell Westbrook, who apparently just thought it'd be cool to hang out). It's hard to make out his rhymes, but at the very least his flow seems passable.
Durant has rapped before in a Nike ad, but that registered as playing around more than anything else. This performance suggests that he's pretty serious about the craft, if not exactly ready to hang up his sneakers. In the past, rap careers have been viewed as distractions from the task of becoming a better player. And while it may be tempting to claim that Durant is on the brink of seeing his career development stall, it's a silly argument with no evidence as of right now. Yes, Durant may be filming movies and rapping, but he's still a gym rat with a deep love for the sport. It would be far too reactionary to say that he has his priorities out of whack. These are just other things that he wants to do.
The lesson here isn't that we read Durant wrong in the past, but thatsporting intricate tattoos and laying down tracks in a studio aren't signs of thuggery and laziness any more than wearing a baseball cap at a jaunty angle or speaking with a drawl. KD is still the same likable kid everyone fawned over last summer. Public perception just needs to catch up with him.
(Via EOB)
Dennis Rodman Scottie Pippen Chris Bosh Carmelo Anthony
Waiting On The Magic Words
HANG TIME HEADQUARTERS – Faced with the latest drop-dead date to
save the on-time start to the regular season, we’ve arrived here
to this afternoon’s scheduled meeting between the league and
players’ union in New York. Can they beat the deadline? Can they
save the season? Will cool heads prevail? Can we finally get back
[...]
Source: http://hangtime.blogs.nba.com/2011/10/10/waiting-on-the-magic-words/
Ray Allen Paul Pierce Dwyane Wade Larry Bird
NBA?s Greatest Games: 1993 Playoffs
HANG TIME HEADQUARTERS – While we wait for the powers that be to
give us back the game we love, we have to stay busy here at the
hideout studying the game’s rich history. Combine our love of NBA
history with the treasure trove of footage the good folks in the
programming department at NBA [...]
Source: http://hangtime.blogs.nba.com/2011/10/17/nbas-greatest-games-1993-playoffs/
Lamar Odom Chauncey Billups Monta Ellis Tim Duncan
Video: LeBron went to Liverpool bearing gifts
Here's LeBron James, meeting soccer players and giving them headphones.
Source: http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheBasketballJones/~3/bTMk3Wnq0fM/
Chauncey Billups Monta Ellis Tim Duncan Manu Ginobili
Video: Jameer Nelson, Quentin Richardson, Brandon Bass and Keyon Dooling help people in need
Orlando Magic players Jameer Nelson, Quentin Richardson and Brandon Bass spent part of the afternoon at Northwest Community Center in Orlando donating food and personal-care items to children and their families.
Magic Johnson Dr Jay Dennis Rodman Scottie Pippen
An Italian team owner asks for President Obama?s help in recruiting Kobe Bryant
Kobe Bryant won't be playing in an Italian league during this lockout mainly because money, insurance, and timing issues are getting in the way. There is still a chance that the NBA could have a truncated season in 2011-12, Bryant wants to lend his voice to the NBA Players Association's chorus, and the Italian league can't really afford him.
[Related: NFL coach tries to recruit LeBron James]
Attempts at re-arranging the Italian league's schedule to favor Kobe's ability to draw in paying customers have already fallen through, so the publicity obsessed owner of one team has taken the next logical step. Virtus Bologna owner Claudio Sabatini has asked President Barack Obama for help in recruiting Kobe.
(By "next logical step" I meant "a crazy-man's next-best idea.")
From Virtus Bologna's website, via the Los Angeles Times:
"Dear Mr. President,
We have a dream: to see Kobe Bryant playing for our Team Virtus Pallacanestro Bologna, the Italian town well known in the world as basket City.
According to your wishes we hope that the NBA lockout will shortly stop but in the meanwhile let us have the chance to see at least for one game the great Kobe Bryant playing with our black and white jersey and be part of our history."
Even with a booming economy, unemployment at virtually nil, or deep into a second term, the president would have (and this is a rough estimate) about 13 trillion more important things to consider than Sabatini's request; but it's worth trying, I suppose. Even with his tongue placed firmly in cheek, Sabatini clearly thinks that it's in the president's best interests to convince a man he doesn't know and has met just twice to leave the United States to take on a lucrative part-time job in Italy.
It is nice to know that it isn't just NBA team owners who are outright nutters. Apparently you have to be a wack job to own a basketball team in Italy, too.
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Ron Artest Dwight Howard Gilbert Arenas LeBron James
Joakim to work with the dream
According to a French interview, Joakim Noah will be working with Hakeem Olajuwon this summer... Read more »
Source: http://www.chicagonow.com/chicago-bulls-confidential/2011/10/joakim-to-work-with-the-dream/
Blake Griffin Kevin Love Rajon Rondo Pau Gasol
Can Eddy Curry still cut the mustard as an NBA player?
As NBA memes go, the bash party that Eddy
Curry has had to endure is equal parts deserved and
depressing. Its longevity will probably outlast Curry's current
contract with the New York
Knicks, which was signed around this time six years ago,
after a frustrating offseason following his final year with the
Chicago Bulls. Curry, even in his best moments
with the Knicks, was always overpaid. He was paid on potential,
never developed, and essentially ate his way out of the NBA.
His trainer, the Chicago-based Tim Grover, thinks there's still something left in his tank. Of course Grover will go on record touting the abilities of his client, and he's far from an objective voice in this case. Still, Grover is also fantastic at what he does. And he has the sustained strength of former clients Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant in his back pocket to lean on, while we wonder if Curry could (or even wants to) play another NBA minute.
From Tim, via Barry Jackson at the Miami Herald:
Curry, who interests the Heat, is in "excellent shape" and "no question" ready to join an NBA team post-lockout, well-regarded Chicago-based trainer Tim Grover told us last week. Grover declined to give Curry's weight, which was 300 in August, down from 350 in March.
Grover said he advised Curry not to play in the FIU charity game last weekend because "these are not games for big men."
Grover's not wrong, on the last part. It's not the best move for an out-of-shape and out-of-work center to take part in a glorified All-Star contest, dragging himself up and down the court while the guards dribble the game away.
300 pounds is still too much for a player who will be 30 in 14 months, and who is generously listed at 6-11 (geez, Wikipedia even has him at 7-feet). Even though he could throw down with the best of them a decade ago (and it has been a full decade since Eddy was drafted by the Bulls), his game has relied more on touch and footwork than anything. He's always had that.
But he's never had a clue. This isn't to diminish Jamal Crawford's accomplishments, but Curry has always been a big man's version of Crawford -- minus Crawford's ability to adapt, and Jamal's ability to not eat himself out of the league. Talent in one area, but only useful to a team that can make up for the rest of his limitations.
Curry is a legendarily-bad rebounder at his position, and he's a massive liability as a defender even if his height may get in the way of wayward drivers. He can score in isolation situations, like Crawford, but can't be trusted to ably work his way out of a double-team. He can score, quickly, but at what cost?
Isiah Thomas and the Knicks thought that those costs should include an eight-figure deal, and what turned into the second overall pick in 2006 (which Chicago regrettably used on Tyrus Thomas) and the pick that turned into Joakim Noah a year later. Curry had his moments in New York, but he's played just 10 NBA games since Noah's rookie year. And if you follow NBA fans and writers on your Twitter account, rarely does a day pass without an Eddy Curry joke making its way through your internet tubes. Eddy Curry jokes have even outlasted lame jokes about internet tubes.
Can Eddy Curry play in the NBA again? At 28, he should be in his ostensible prime, and I doubt that touch around the rim will ever leave him. And what people forget is, besides the girth issues, he messed over his career in a more significant way by leaving a Bulls team that was best-suited for his strengths and weaknesses. A Scott Skiles-led group that defended with the best of them, and utilized Curry's first and third quarter skills as a scorer while leaving him on the bench when it came time to guard the other team's late-game screen and roll attack.
Perhaps there's your answer, then. Skiles and Curry never much cared for each other, but they could really use each other right now. Skiles, as it always is, needs scoring for his defensively-keen Milwaukee Bucks. He needs depth, behind or alongside center Andrew Bogut. Eddy Curry needs not only a job, but a team that can cover weaknesses that, frankly, he'll never be able to overcome.
I'll leave it to you to make the obvious bratwurst jokes that Eddy has so well earned.
Derrick Rose Dirk Nowitzky Carlos Boozer Deron Williams
Team USA Roster For 2011 Pan-Am Games Finalized
Source: http://www.ridiculousupside.com/2011/10/20/2502301/2011-pan-am-games-team-usa-roster
Dr Jay Dennis Rodman Scottie Pippen Chris Bosh
Top 50: Dwight Howard, no. 6
Source: http://www.slamonline.com/online/nba/slamonline-top-50/2011/10/top-50-dwight-howard-no-6/
Kevin Love Rajon Rondo Pau Gasol Andrew Bynum
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