Feed: The D-MAIL - AggScore: 45.1
Summary: The D-MAIL
Time passes and the brain fails, in these times of ludicrous gamble for the "Best", We forget that life is much more than Desires, it's also filled with lots and lots of freshly baked, Dark Metamorphic Amorphous Illicit Literature. In Acronym that's "D-Mail"!!
OUR VERY OWN E-BOOK
The 7th sin, Pride is known to brighten up our lives in every way
possible. We're also Proud, not of our nations, leaders,
Politicians or any other such crap. We're proud of ourselves, for
having finished our very own E-Book. This book consists of
everything The D-Mail's all about!! It's got 6 Posts by label
'ILL'iterature which will tickle your funny bones at the point of
insanity. A must read for Tablet, Laptop, PC, CP (Cell Phone) and
any other Screen-Users. Don't miss it and do share the laughs,
after all THE D-MAIL☣ is written in the color
of Pride, well, Almost!!
CLICK HERE, HERE AND/OR HERE to Download the 'ILL'iterature E-BOOK (.pdf)!!
CLICK HERE, HERE AND/OR HERE to Download the 'ILL'iterature E-BOOK (.pdf)!!
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Nov 14, 2011 - 6:30 am
A 'Sign'tific Rebellion
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Oct 29, 2011 - 6:30 am
Why I don't believe in The Evolution Theory
After long Butt scratching and Yawning, We've finally decided
to continue the posting. The D'N'A were wondering what to put
up for the Hiatus-Breaker and after a long while we got the
idea of this little 'Pun'gent on the Evolution
theory.
(Disclaimer: We did
NOT get the idea out of butt-scratching!!)
Don't Forget to Like our Facebook Page, that'll keep
you up to date with all The D-Mail happenings. check out
http://www.facebook.com/thedmail !!
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Jul 31, 2011 - 3:30 am
The Great Indian Politricks (True Politics) !!
“ I have a dream....”, a famous speech by Martin Luther Jr. was like silver to Americans and Mankind alike (no distinction intended). But as silver as the message can be, In India however we prefer the Golden part of the proverb – Silence. Politics has been a much talked about and much silenced about topic all across India. We have tons of dailies yapping crap about this politician or that. As it is applauded for, it is also tabooed in some minds. Some Educated Bumpkins feel that it is wise not to get involved in the cut-throat (literally) politics of India, But we @ The D-Mail think otherwise. For it is wiser to run ourselves than let someone who can't even thumb-print their name, do so. My appologies to all those whom I have/ or am going to Humiliate/Insult/Unpant/Unskirt/Shame/Defame and also not to forget Mystify. I shall warn you, this post is gonna be slightly longer than the others, but entertaining in every para. So we welcome to you or rather welcome you to the Super Sly World of....
THE
GREAT INDIAN POLI-TRICKS!!
During the
Medieval times, kings and emperors used to own vast areas of
productive land which were rented out to the people, who lived
peacefully and with fraternity. If these so called emperors
were made to observe the present properties of Babus
(Politicians), then they'll understand the importance of War
and Bloodshed!
The average heads per Km. is 200, let's calculate that of the
politico's lands:
10 Km. vs 3 members = 3/10 = 0.3
This diminutive number truly turns our national shame
diminutive.
Everything has a Price. Period. You just need to know the
number and even lions start squealing like rats! Competition
helps you improve? Damn! If improvement means that of killing
competitors, then India is surely Developing!
It is a true fact that the funds reached by a target (social
service) organisation is inversely proportional to the number
of ministers/officers heading it in hierarchy.
"10%
Rule" explains
the above statement, very clearly...
Suppose there are 10 ministers assigned a particular
organisation's undertaking, and the funds directed is 10,00,000
units, then...
The numbers indicate the position of the minister. We see the
higher politicians with the max CUT and the others reduce
UNgradually. In the end, the amount received would be only
100.0000 units. The number of zeroes are the same but the
relief actually received is pathetically low. Hey! look on
the bright side, atleast the lower (4) politicians learn to
share, Or maybe Not! That explains the variability of the
real number of lower politicians...
Bullies, they say, are actually loners craving a place in the
society. But such a place that the society itself becomes the
victim, is sad enough NOT to be ignored! Never anticipated by
the Scholars-of-Old, maybe they did and didn't care because, It
was not them to be paying the price, but Us, the
Scholars-of-New misusing the scholarship of the Voter-Id
card for monetary benefits. Corruption in politics has
taken such a lowly turn, that the GNP - Gross National
Income is a sub-multiple of the PPP - Politicians'
Private Pocket.
Ramchandra Guha once said that 'Being a Wicket Keeper (Cricket) is harder than being a Prime Minister (PM) of a coalition Government', Well Mr. Guha, You've unscrupulously insulted the Wicket Keeper. Because, Firstly, all a normal PM does is give orders (To Execute) and as for the coalition part, all he HAS to do is, again, give orders (To Execute). Indians have humiliated India, but set standards for world politics.
Ramchandra Guha once said that 'Being a Wicket Keeper (Cricket) is harder than being a Prime Minister (PM) of a coalition Government', Well Mr. Guha, You've unscrupulously insulted the Wicket Keeper. Because, Firstly, all a normal PM does is give orders (To Execute) and as for the coalition part, all he HAS to do is, again, give orders (To Execute). Indians have humiliated India, but set standards for world politics.
If you wish to become one among them, then ask yourself, "Do I
have the Influence and Connections?", If your answer is NO,
then flip coins and wait for one of them to fall on it's edge.
If your answer is YES, then Please DO read and assess
yourselves through these requirements of a REAL politician!
The 8 Requirements of a
Politician are:
8) Must have
atleast 3 professional, 5 unprofessional and
35 secret Body Guards and Henchmen to do personal
deeds.
7) Has to know
the way to dress up Dictatorship
with Democratic Pants and
Republic
Undies.
6) Must be
involved in atleast 2 national scandals or 1
International scandal. Extra points if it's Tiger-Woods Style!
5) Needs to
know his way around the cities, lest he gets Found.
4) Must be able
to provide Steady Flow of
cash to Activists, Policemen and Judges.
3) At least one
account in the Overseas "Privacy Respecting"
Bank, must be possessed. Swiss ones are the latest
fashion!
2) Must never get caught
in a murder case. If you are, you deserve to be only the
Chief Minister of a state and not anything better.
1) Must
keep a mouth Open to Public Opinion and fist
Closed to Public
Welfare.
Always remember, We have nothing against the present politicians of India or their allies. Our grudges are never partial, but they are directed towards ALL the politicians, Old and Older; and the other kind. The Banana Republic (Our residence) has two faithful citizens who are more than willing to do the above functions, Yours Truly(s).
Always remember, We have nothing against the present politicians of India or their allies. Our grudges are never partial, but they are directed towards ALL the politicians, Old and Older; and the other kind. The Banana Republic (Our residence) has two faithful citizens who are more than willing to do the above functions, Yours Truly(s).
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Jun 11, 2011 - 3:30 am
Smile for miles
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Jun 01, 2011 - 1:30 am
From Ships to Beans....
Welcome aboard the newest ship S.S.
Ann-Oye. The cruiser meant to Ann-oye anyone
willing enough to board it. I'm the captain, Cpt. Jack's
Marrow. What we have today on The D-Mail is a whole lot of fun
to all those ready for it but remember, DO NOT try to make
sense out of the following post, if you absolutely need to,
Have two dozen aspirin flavoured paracetamols ready!!
People these days don't try out ships as much as planes and
trains, reason: Titanic. Damn ass-olds!Did you know that
the average ice-berg actually consist of meteors and alien DNA?
I didn't know that, on account of, I just made that up. Why do
you think this kind of posts still exists in our Blog, "The
D-Mail". The answer would be, YOU!! With your pea-sized brains
and your pint-sized eyes and your awfully 'all thumbed' hands,
you people never give us feedback. Here we are working our
asses out and making perfect every post
(Read: Try. While you're looking up the
dictionary, also Read: Homo-cide {can you?
I don't think so, because such perfectly composed new words can
only be found in The D-Mail}) and you people take pleasure
from the posts but choose to ignore our feelings. We are people
too, of course, we boast of not being humans and not being
constrained by laws and rules, but we sure do have feelings.
And my feelings tell me to quit The D-Mail, but still I
continue, for all those who still view it, for I am a true
humanitarian ( just like Vegetarian, Non-vegetarian;
Humanitarian, on the same lines). Speaking of humanitarians, It
was really unfair for Osama and, treacherous on the part of
Obama. After all he did for the world, after being the only
person who could stand up to bUSh and keep him straight
and active all-term-long. A final salute to his deadlideadness,
Mr. Osama bin Mohammed bin Awad bin
Laden. R.I.P (Rest in Pieces)!
If my informant can be believed, USA is losing it's super
power status and the real power is being shifted to the
Caribbean, Reason: A certain drunken loopy-loony pirate, my
nemesis, who has actually found the Fountain of the Wine
of Sobriety (WTH)! My informant can never be
right, possibly, because his surname is Depp (meaning:
maladroit). BTW, I've been playing the wonderful game
Project: I'm Going In (PIGI) and for the past eight rounds of
ammo have been admiring the perfectness of the game. I mean
to say that, where ever you shoot, you get the appropriate
reaction and response of the pain. And as I said, 8 rounds of
bullets and the bots' couldn't get their hands off their
crotches, not that they have anything REAL around. But the
sound effects and the way they kneel and die is truly
inspirational, instead of making me a "TOP NOTCH SNIPER" its
turning me into a "BOTTOM CROTCH BANGER" (no
offence).
"I'm coming close to the end about now" said the
ugly-old-bat-hitting Mr. Bean and I'm going to quote
him, or rather I already did. I've been despired
(opposite of inspired) by the above character for a long
time. He's one hell of a buffoon. If you don't agree with me
here, then the next senselessly long statement will make you
agree with me, 'Mr. Bean is a
lonesome loon who lives with his teddy in a land where
banging the queen (with the head on the head;
'headbutt'ing is more deceptive ) and 'being immune to
electric discharge in such an unusual way that all TV's and
Electric devices go gaga over him' is considered quite normal
and common; We have a whole lot of stale oyesters ready to be
mixed with ENO in the tummy and a BLONDE lady obsessed
with him in such a way that she confuses him to be normal
enough to give out mixed signals that she wants a diamond
ring, pointing at a PICTURE of it, while Mr. Bean is
not confused but convinced that a lady of her stature and
material would require that very PICTURE, of all the
jewellery in the JEWELLERY store for
Christmas.'
Ladies-fingers and Gen*talmen (oops), lets make it
clear that the above long sentence is a grammatically correct
sentence. If you think not then you'd know that "Wren
& Martin" are crying out from their graves in vain. I
am never Rong ( may be Wrung but never wrong). BTW, If
you want to know more about english, then might I suggest,
the previous 'Stochastic Envisages' post will do!! This
is 'D' taking his leave, after a seriously large dose
of Heroine (See I'm so High that I mispell and add
Vovules *hick* I mean
Vowels, where they don't belong).
Hugs and Kisses (For
Females Only): ***...
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: May 23, 2011 - 5:30 am
HEADLINES TOMORROW
What's up with this world? Has
it all gone filmy? The D-Mail just can't stop, but predict the
happenings using their super Human Angelo-Demonic fortune
cookies. so sit back and get a taste of your newspaper of
tomorrow, today!
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: May 10, 2011 - 3:30 am
ULT(r)A SWAMI
Do Others, As You Would Have Others Do
You!
" "Oh Experienced one, What is thy secret of Success?"
An innocent passer begs the Great Immor(t)al Root
"What is
success but a fruit of mutual effort", replied he
An instant follower was born that second, an instant
fruit!
Simplicity in him, brought him so far.
That even Gandhi couldn't but acknowledge,
Complexity of his statements bought many an ear
And caused many a mouth, experience thy Outage!
As thee ages, More art thou like a fiddle
whose ASSets are worth more than the Economy,
His Highness shares to all, but only in riddle
Praise the master of ANAL-ogy et Anatomy
As thee ages, More art thou like a fiddle
whose ASSets are worth more than the Economy,
His Highness shares to all, but only in riddle
Praise the master of ANAL-ogy et Anatomy
As a tramp went, to the Dark Land of China,
Walked the long way, to people's impotent hearts
As a King he returned back, Thou experiences shared
Now begins the Land's productivity, now the population
starts!
"Work and Play have no meaning isolated", he lectured,
"The Work is Play when you enjoy IT at ease,
"The Work is Play when you enjoy IT at ease,
But if play is work and you can't aim lower,
I'll do it for you, and even
take the fees" !
Totally Convinced
'D' himself asked His
Excellent Potency,
"Explain, Oh Great One, the Ultimate meaning of Life"
- My child, YOU are but imperfect wanderers,
The Day calls for Work and play, but it is
night that calls for strife !!
Like harp, Like lyre his words, the heart burns
Through these scars and sears, after all we learn
The inner demons and angels are set free to pleasure
For his principles are of Gain, and not to painfully
Yearn! "
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: May 07, 2011 - 1:30 am
C.A.T
All the information provided on the website is for entertainment
purposes only, none of the data or statistics mentioned within
are correct in any way. All the articles are meant for comical
relief and it is not our intention to cause harm to anyone's
reputation or particularly target someone's dignity through our
writings. If anyone believes that we may have crossed a line in
that regard, please write to us at
Date Published: Apr 23, 2011 - 1:30 am
Visitor Rating: 5 (1) (Rate)
 |
|
Story Clicks: 0
Feed Views: 142
Lenses (Add|?)
Comments (Log in to add)
Feed Details
Date Added: 02/06/2011
Date Approved: 02/06/2011
By: Anonymous
Date Approved: 02/06/2011
By: Anonymous
Search FeedAgg.com
3600 mp8471 serv 1.9347 seconds to generate.