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Tiger Woods Texts To Alleged Mistresses Revealed

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Tiger Woods of the USA speaks to the media during a press conference after round one of the 2009 Australian Masters at Kingston Heath Golf Club on November 12, 2009 in Melbourne, Australia. Tiger Woods' texts to his alleged mistresses, including Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel, were pretty raunchy, and some even gushy. According to Us magazine, Tiger and Jaimee traded messages that included things like "I will wear you out soon."

Jaimee allegedly sent a message to Tiger saying: "then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need u." Tiger apparently sent texts to her like, "quietly and secretively we will always be together ...when was the last time you got laid."

The golfer has also been said to have sent texts to at least one more alleged mistress: Rachel Uchitel. CBS News reports that he sent the first mistress revealed in the affair saga messages like: "I want you to lay next to me, lay on me or where ever you want to lay," and "I know it's brutal on you that you can't be with me all the time."

The whole Tiger affair scandal started when he got into a one-car crash outside his Florida mansion around 2am November 27. Rumors spread that the accident was a result of the golf pro's wife Elin Nordegren coming after his SUV with a golf club after she found out about his infidelity, and things have rapidly spiraled downward since then.

We almost need to start counting the alleged mistresses on our toes now, as Rachel Uchitel, Jaimee Grubbs, Kalika Moquin, Jamie Jungers, Mindy Lawton, Cori Rist, Holly Sampson, and Joslyn James have all been romantically linked to the guy over the last couple weeks.

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An exclusive interview with Santa Claus

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We also have much in common. We can both grow thick beards, we both live with elves, and we both find it enjoyable to enter my house through the chimney. There are differences, too. As I get older, I don’t like strangers sitting on my lap as much as I once did. I rarely wear matching velvet jacket/pant combos, and I’ve found that I’m wearing fur-trimmed boots less and less for reasons I can’t explain. Now, my main issue through the years with Santa has been the fact that he gets all crazy busy after Thanksgiving and he then seemingly goes on an 11-month vacation the day after Christmas. It’s a bit annoying, frankly. Everywhere I go lately, there’s Santa all smiling and spreading cheer. I go to another spot and Santa has already beaten me there and is, you guessed it, spreading more cheer. I’m dubious of people that can travel that fast. The Express was granted an exclusive, no-holds-barred interview with Santa. Here are some highlights.

Get Out! Santa, it seems like you’ve been downright ubiquitous these past few weeks. I’ve seen you on television more than Tiger Woods. Why not pace yourself?

Santa: It’s very important that I get out and make sure that I’m meeting as many kids as I can, and figuring out who has been naughty and who’s been nice. I’m happy to report that I’ve come across many wonderful little ones in my travels through Pembroke.

Get Out! I saw you at the tree lighting this past weekend, and when you took the stage, you appeared to be doing a sorta “raise the roof” dance move that reminded me of the way I dance whenever I hear a song by the Notorious B.I.G. Is this a move you’ve been working on lately?

Santa: I’m an excellent dancer. I typically don’t break out my moves, because I usually have a giant bag of toys that I’m dragging around. Seeing all the kids there on the Town Green made me lose myself for a minute. That was an excellent event. It felt like a Norman Rockwell painting.

Get Out! There seems to be some confusion about what Santa really likes kids to leave out for him the night before Christmas. It seems some parents insist on cookies, others on reindeer food, and some say beer. Which is it?

Santa: Cookies are the best. A man needs to keep his figure, and a few cookies at every single house around the world really help me stay plump.

Get Out! My three-year-old daughter Grace says that she only wants scissors for Christmas. She pronounces them “fwissors,” in case you missed it when you guys met the other day. The upside of her only wanting scissors is that we (you and I) could probably make her Christmas complete for less than $5. Is that the wrong attitude? What are some hot gift ideas?

Santa: Three-year-olds and scissors are a bad idea on many, many levels. A lot of kids are asking for Bakugans, Matchboxes, Barbies, anything Dora the Explorer-related, Transformers and Nintendo games. Those seem to be the hot items this year.

Get Out! How do you determine naughty or nice?

Santa: It’s a balancing act. Kids that are doing well in school or trying hard are usually on my good list. Kids that help their parents and are well behaved also usually have a great Christmas morning. There are a lot of different things that can land a child on the naughty list. Talking back to their parents isn’t good. Getting arrested also typically doesn’t help.

Get Out! Listen, I know you’ve got to go stand in front of a Polaroid camera soon, so any final words?

Santa: I want to thank all the people that helped coordinate my trips to Pembroke. I can be high-maintenance, and everybody did such a great job. I’ve been reading all the letters from the kids, and I’m working these elves hard to make sure everybody’s wish list is fulfilled. Rudolph and his gang are ready to roll. I’ll be sliding down your chimneys before you know it. I want to wish all the Pembrokians out there a happy holiday season.

Written by Matt York

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NFL Picks Week 14 / Bengal player fined...

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Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson Ochocinco Mellancamp was fined by the NFL thirty thousand dollars this week for wearing a sombrero. In twenty-plus-years of covering sports, I have never had to type or say the phrase "fined for wearing a sombrero."

Never.

In honor of this milestone, I'll be purchasing some kind of Bengals apparrel this weekend. Ochocinco is good for business, even if the NFL has to paint him as a bad guy. He's the "El Barto" of the league.

Pittsburgh at Cleveland
Listed as "questionable" for the game: Hines Ward, William Gay, the Cleveland browns organization.
Pick: Steelers

New Orleans at Atlanta
My favorite random NFL fact of all time? The Falcons have never had back-to-back winning seasons. They'll need to win three of the next four to change that, and based on what the Saints did last week, it'll require divine intervention to win here.
Pick: Saints

NY Jets at Tampa Bay
Jets QB Mark Sanchez is ticked that he's not going to be playing in this one due to a knee injury. Sorry to inform Sanchez, but he's the quarterback for the Jets. This is just one in a series of disappointments.
Pick: Bucs

Detroit at Baltimore
Daunte Culpepper will be starting at quarterback for the Lions. Remember, Culpepper usually looks good when he initially faces a defense, but when they realize he only knows four plays, it's all downhill from there. Culpepper is a "Tecmo Bowl" kind of quarterback.
Pick: Ravens

Seattle at Houston
Houston's season is falling apart so fast, only hummingbirds can see it fully.
Pick: Seahawks

Buffalo at Kansas City
Terrell Owens signed with a modeling agency this week. Apparently it was the only industry he could think of where he'd look humble.
Pick: Bills

Cincinnati at Minnesota
Say what you want about Chad Ochocinco's celebrations, at least he's scoring. Darius Heyward-Bey might have some outlandish stuff in mind, but we may never get the chance to be offended by it.
Pick: Bengals

Carolina at New England
The Patriots are angry. We don't like them when they're angry. Of course, most people don't like the Panthers regardless of their emotional state.
Pick: Patriots

Washington at Oakland
If you haven't yet seen it, check out former Skins kicker Shaun Suisham's Wikipedia page following his game-losing performance against the Saints. He was pronounced as "poo."
Pick: Raiders

St. Louis at Tennessee
Wasn't this a Super Bowl once? Yeah, I don't remember either.
Pick: Titans

San Diego at Dallas
Technically, Cowboys lineman Flozell Adams got an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty at halftime of the Giants game. I fully expect the refs to check him for foreign objects before the game.
Pick: Chargers

Also, I'll take the Packers over bears, Dolphins over Jags, Colts over everyone, Eagles over Giants, and Cardinals over Niners. I'll also take Tiger Woods' address books over Tiger Woods' scorecard, "The Blind Side" over the vampire movie, and Gary Busey, nutball, over Gary Busey, new father.

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Jon Gosselin: An "Embarrassment" to TLC

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Kate Gosselin got some good press this week, what with being named one of Barbara Walters' 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009. Her estranged hubby? Not so much. Yes, it was Pile on Jon Gosselin Day at a Maryland courthouse as the preliminary hearing kicked off in his and TLC's dueling civil suits over Jon & Kate Plus 8. And the octodad sure picked a good time to be MIA as TLC honcho Edward Sabin tore Gosselin apart.

Per Radar Online, Sabin said his star's extracurricular activities (ranging from Vegas pool parties with bikini-clad babes to promoting his Hollywood Rebel clothing line) was not only "embarassing" but "it made the show look bad and was like "pouring oil on the fire" of the bad publicity engufling the once family-friendly reality show.

And that's where we come in...

Sabin said the tipping point in his battles with Papa Gosselin came after he tried to do an interview with our very own E! Entertainment Television—what Sabin called a blatant violation of an exclusivity clause in Gosselin's TLC contract. That interview was eventually dropped but he did eventually land paid deals with Entertainment Tonight and The Insider.

But that's not all. Sabin listed several potential side projects that Gosselin wanted to do despite being under TLC's lock-and-key, including a proposed reality show with Michael Lohan called Divorced Dads Club as well as a couple of Super Bowl spots.

So far, lawyers have deposed Lohan and Gosselin's former female sidekicks Hailey Glassman and Kate Major. No word on where Gosselin was today—attorney Mark Heller had earlier said that Gosselin would be present. In this countersuit, the former reality patriarch claims TLC took advantage of him and made him sign an overly restrictive contract, harmed his reputation and violated Pennsylvania's child labor laws. Now the showdown will be decided by a jury. A trial date has been set for April 19.

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The Biggest Loser Finale

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The finale of The Biggest Loser Second Chances is finally here and it's anyone's guess which Biggest Loser will walk away with this year's title of The Biggest Loser. Will it be Biggest Loser competitor, Rudy? How about Biggest Loser ranch mates, Danny or Liz? By the time fans reach
the end of The Biggest Loser finale, Amanda may walk away with the honor of Biggest Loser after her life-changing transformation. Although we can only speculate until the last Biggest Loser rancher steps on the scale, we do know The Biggest Loser finale will be big for both fans and NBC.

As the excitement builds for the two-hour Biggest Loser finale on NBC at 8pm, we have Biggest Loser bonus clips and a few montage scenes from the entire season of The Biggest Loser ahead of the finale as a second chance for Biggest Loser fans to catch up to speed before Rudy, Danny, Liz, and Amanda go head to head one last time for the title of The Biggest Loser. To see the incredible transformations from this season of The Biggest Loser, check out the Biggest Loser Gallery for Season 8 before reliving the entire Biggest Loser Second Chances at NBC.

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World of Warcraft Latest Patch

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Attention WOW-heads, the latest patch for the game has been released, and you can get it at the usual download spots if you are a manual patching kind of person.

Patch 3.3 is the last big one before Cataclysm hits, and includes new dungeons, a new raid for the Icecrown Citadel, the inclusion of a quest tracker and many other pretty things to make you happy. It’s already live in North America, and is expected to hit Europe later this evening – if it hasn’t already.

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Tiger Woods and Gatorade

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As new reports of alleged extra-marital affairs continue to surface, Gatorade announced Tuesday that it would discontinue its Tiger Woods sports drink. Gatorade says the decision to drop Woods' product was made “months ago” and has nothing to do with the recent public events involving the embattled golf star.

In an official statement released Tuesday, the company said: “We decided several months ago to discontinue Gatorade Tiger Focus along with some other products to make room for our planned series of innovative products in 2010. We hope to share more about our 2010 plans soon.”

“Gatorade Tiger Focus” was launched last spring and was the only product to contain theanine, which is said to reduce mental and physical stress. The partnership was unprecedented because Woods received royalties from sales of the beverage, rather than a contractual amount for an endorsement. The news came just days after the company told FoxNews.com that it would not drop Woods from his endorsement deal following a mysterious car crash outside his Florida home last month. Days later, rumors of at least eleven alleged extramarital affairs surfaced. Woods has apologized for “transgressions” that let his family and fans down.

Gatorade Tiger Focus is the first of Woods’ endorsements to end since the scandal began. While the company is dropping Woods' drink, it was unclear Tuesday whether or not he would appear in any future advertisements connected to the company.

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