Feed: married... with children - AggScore: 42.4

May day

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Coastal Style: Ways To Shine!

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Coastal Style: Ways To Shine!: 8 ways to help YOU SHINE Here are eight great reminders to help you realise  your aw...

just life...

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sweet friend laura had a bday couple-a weeks ago so i made her this blated cake.  i think i like this new trend of mini banners on cakes.


so tuesday i spent SEVEN hours cleaning this house.  i think it's been 3 months since i've done that but it felt good to do major cleaning.  it was big time therapy.  cleaning always makes me end up moving around furniture.  by the end of the night i had emptied out the living room furniture to the family room.  i moved the sofa and i like it much better.  now i've gotta get ian on board with new sofas for the living room...


i read this years ago and think i need to revisit it.  oh its so painful being a parent.  but worth it.


who wrote this stupid book?  JOYFUL mother?  how about JOYFUL WITCH?  i'm not reading it.


lastly i came across these seed packets at the local garden center!  a fairy meadow?  now that melted my heart cuz one of my kids loves fairies.  i couldn't help myself - i had to get them all!

CREATIVITY

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i love all things beautiful.  and creative.  i love going into those one of a kind little boutiques and finding lovely treasures.  items you know you won't find anywhere else.  something that someone made without trying to copy anyone else.  just something that they felt inspired to make as they went along.  you always get a sense of someone's style and innovative thinking when you stumble across a unique find.  i am always a sucker for all things unique.  i just have an appreciation for the time, talent, gifts, effort, and pure creativity.

for me creativity is passion.  it's also total therapy.  it's a way to express yourself and what you love in a way you can't otherwise.  i could get lost in creating little things.  anything from paper, to paint, to fabric, to food, to furniture, to gardening.  o.k. ~ so i guess i also like to create friendships.  i don't really categorize that as creativity but there is an art to relationships ~ and it's hard!  sometimes we work with our hands and imagination, sometimes with our words/feelings and heart.  the former is much easier for me!

when i think of the word "create" there's always something that pops into my head ~ a talk given by pres. uchtdorf that hit the nail on the head for me.  not all of his talk was on being creative.  in fact it was about happiness, creativity, and compassion.  it has stuck with me for years and really made me realize that creativity plays a role in my happiness.  it is a WONDERFUL message, at least to me:

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/happiness-your-heritage?lang=eng

i have this little purple book i bought last year that i keep as my "create" ideas book.  any idea that pops into my head for a gift, party, project, gesture...i jot it down in this book so i'll remember it and make it sometime.  i use it as a visual inspiration board of my thoughts.  i have to say that "pinterest" is pretty amazing and has some lovely inspirational ideas too!

last night was enrichment.  my sweet friend put on the best night.  it was simple.  she asked us all to tell her, beforehand, the one thing we're really good at.  then she told us to bring, in a lunch bag, something that really makes us happy -  it would be like a gift exchange.  a couple of women got up and shared their one thing that they're good at - it was so inspiring for me.  they were "hey, i can try that" kind of things.  the fun part was sharing our favorite happy thing.  of course i gave dark chocolate and a cd of my fav music.   

month's ago i was hiking alongside ian who was riding his mountain bike.  he went ahead so i had time to let my head take off.  usually when i hike or run is when i ALWAYS get inspiration and ideas that pop into my head.  i like hard hikes because they help me get thru my struggles.  doing something physically hard challenges me to push myself and for some crazy reason, along the way all these creative ideas come to me;  but i also seem to be able to get clarity and answers and inspiration for my personal life and any challenges i seem to be facing.  i don't really like to hike alone but i make myself do it cuz that's when i leave the world behind and conquer the mountain ~ so to speak.  we all have things we need to work on and overcome.

anway...back to when i was hiking with ian...i realized then that getting out alone, doing a physical activity, being still, removing myself from chaos and chores and cleaning and noise (oh the noise!) is what really helps me to have that clarity that i need and to then get ideas of things that i can do and find those wins of personal happiness and clarity and satisfaction and wellness, i guess.  that whole rush of ideas and inspiration and clarity keeps me getting out.  i also find many answers to prayers as i sort out my own thoughts and problems.

i wish i was better about helping my kids to understand this too.  o.k. ~ i'm just gonna stop here cause there's a lot of things i wish i was better at.

birthday queen

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in playing catch up i found on our other computer these photos of my friend sachia's bday back in october!  too fun not to post about.  nothing's funner than having a girls late night out with cake and a jacuzzi!  celebrating sachia was all the reason.

just for the record she wasn't flipping me off - she was telling me she wanted another beer - as you can see from the island, she'd already had 2 the first 10 minutes!  JUST KIDDING!  that's rootbeer.   and in this last photo...where to land your eyes!  i got everyone a crown - we were the princessess and she was the QUEEN. 

love you sachia!

spring break

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 now these are photos from our spring break.  we went to la quinta with the tylers and stayed in a rental home.  it was so great to get away and literally do nothing.  no agenda.  i didn't even get in my bathing suit once.  wasn't hot enough.  ethan and i actually were sick for some of the time - lazyness was good.  not all of these photos are in focus - but whatever.  i seriously don't care.

here i am practicing the angelina jolie pose, minus the black-front slit dress and the red lipstick and heels...








i have to stop right here...the 4 of us went out for a nice dinner one night.  the couples next to us were totally plastered and so loud.  not my most favorite photo of me but were so tired and had been laughing so much - matt was looking up all this info on his phone about lady gaga being a hermadphodite and i was dying laughing.












this little desert get-away ended up being simple, cheap, fun, low key, and memorable.  going on vacation with friends is so great!!!  well, the tylers... are more like, family.

oh...and our easter?  we drove home on easter.  stopped for lunch at "5 guys" hamburgers.  got home and had pot stickers with brownies for dinner.  watched a church video - "the 8 cow wife" - and put the kids to bed.  no going to easter church services.  no ham or roast.  no hard boiled colored eggs.  no easter egg hunt.  no easter candy.  no decorations out what-so-ever.  i told the kids that next sunday we'd celebrate easter.  i have to admit that it kinda felt good to let go and not stress over it.  kinda like not doing a Christmas card this past year.  and...i haven't washed my hair ALL week.  i'm becoming a wreck!

family time out - last year...

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i wanted to do some catching up on this post as i think it's the only download of photos that i haven't put on my blog.  i'm trying to get all caught up so i can move forward with new and fresh ideas as i'm feeling that need to be inspired and capture some passion. 

friends

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a while back i had this light-bulb moment where i realized that there are 3 types of friends. 

i realize i have been 2 of them and 1 of them is what i am hoping to arrive at before i die.  i also realize that at different times in my life i have had all 3 types of friends.  where i am in life and who i've become as a wife and mother has made me let go of certain things, embrace other things, and cling tightly to ones i am sure of.  clinging tightly to certain types of friends can only make me a better friend, and mom, and wife, and any/all other titles i may have.  i also realized that "pre" kids i was much more tolerant.  maybe because i was weak and afraid of friends "not liking me" for speaking up or for telling them "what i really was thinking" or for telling them "what they really needed to hear".   i was also young and in the early years of learning who and what a true friend is, and how to be one.  lots of mistakes and tears. 

fast forward, "post" kids.  having kids has made me tolerant in one way, less tolerant in another.  everyday i am disiplining, i have to really think before i speak, i have to think carefully about what i say and how i say it.  i have found that this has changed how i am as a friend.  there's no time for sugar coating reality in this season of my life.  i'm not so timid or intimidated anymore or afraid of what they'll say or think of me.  i know that there are the seasons in our lives where sometimes we can give more, and other times where we have to learn to take and be on the receiving end.  both arenas teach us.  as we learn we hopefully become more compassionate, more giving of our time and efforts, and willing to walk in anothers shoes before we open our mouth.  i have learned that always giving the benefit of the doubt can help you feel more sensitive.  i try hard to be sensitive and tuned in - i try - but i also realize that during the "mothering" years it's your little family that comes first.  sometimes your friends may really need you and your time and just to know you are there for them.  sometimes you are the one that really needs that.  i've accepted the fact that sometimes friend time doesn't always come first like it used to - or at least when you had more disposable time.  now i carve out time or look for windows of time and opportunity to talk.  it's easier when they are all in school.  but then that is when YOU sometimes need your space and breathing room to collect yourself together.  it's easy to get offended in this phase.  you feel alone or abandoned by friends...but really they have their own pile of junk they are dealing with too.  it's a hard season to be a committed friend but it's not impossible.

i guess there are probably, like, 20 different types of friends.  i just went off the top of my head on the type's i've observed and been.  there's no right or wrong about it.  i may seem judgemental in my observation.  that's not my message.  i guess i'm just trying to refine myself in this area of my life.

i've now deleted and added to this post about 4 times.  it's a sensitive topic but i think worth posting about.

so here's those 3 types of friends:

the first is the one who reaches out to you only when they need something or want something from you.  they could care less to ask about how you really are and/or how they can ever help you.  it's always about them 1st.  you can tell them your problems, they're the funnest to be around, you love to be with and go out with them, they make you feel like life is fun and you feel good with them.  it's about the "good times", the ones seeking the party.  but when it comes to obstacles/challenges - they hear you, but they don't listen.  if you've done something wrong they'll hold your hand - but often toward the fire - cuz it's all about feeling good.  they don't correct you (unless you've crossed them), and it's because they make you forget the bad/wrong that you are drawn to them and are enticed to hang out.  zero emotional investment (think college!)

the second is the one who feels entitled to be in your business - the one who wants to keep tabs on you and always wanna know whats going on in your life - the busy-body friend.  they may rarely want to be part of helping you with the solutions in your life, but they want to know about all of the problems and go as far as to share them with everyone they know (the gossiping fool).  they hear and listen.  they may not judge harshly but they'll also condone and justify what you do cuz they never want to make you feel guilty/bad/cope.  they'll take you by the hand and you will go in circles with this friend because they don't want you to feel worse or feel pain, which is sometimes needed to grow and change.  there's kinda no deep investment.

the third is the one who genuinely cares.  who calls and keeps in touch whether you reach out or not; but who knows when to reach out to you or respectfully back off.  they don't ask for anything and rarely dominate the conversation by only talking about themself.  this is the friend that hears, listens, and who loves you enough to disagree at times, who you can feel vunerable with and safe and know they will be constructive with you as they carefully tell you to get your crap together and who positively constructs so you won't self destruct!  they won't let you feel numb.  they won't judge you - they'll help you see where you need to make corrections/changes/help you pull your head out of your butt.  they'll hold your hand towards the light, not towards the fire, or in circles - even if every step of the way is slow going.  she'll bring out the best in you and your strength's and helps you become the person that is struggling to come out.  this friend tells you what you don't want to hear, but in such a way that you listen and have no doubt that they genuinly have your back.  you can't help but embrace that friend.  the one who helps you open up your heart and mind.  this one is where there is total investment of time, emotions, effort, love - it is about real connection.

i have not always been thee best kind of friend, regretfully.  but, i am old enough that i have had more than a handful of loving, genuine, caring, trustworty friends.  they have been my teachers and examples.  i have been lifted, carried, soothed, listened to, loved, constructively criticized, and lead by the hand towards the light.  i don't know what i ever did to deserve such great influences in my life, but i hope i remain worthy of their friendship and these heavenly connections. 


it is my goal to seek to be the latter friend.  i have a very long way to go, but i am learning from the best.  to all my friends...thank you for being such positive influences in my life.  the Lord knew i would need you!

my favorite friend poem:

the happiness minute

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as often as i am in the car between 9am and noon ~ monday thru friday, i listen to dennis prager on KRLA.  my dear friend charm introduced me to him years ago and now i'm a fan. he has the "men and women issues" hour which i so enjoy where he brings up a ton of topics so worth listening to.  i also love his happiness hour.  let me share what he has to say about "who is happy"?:

people who control themselves
people who are given little and earn what they have
people who don't see themselves or their group as victims
people who rarely complain
people who have close friends
people who are in a good marriage
people who act happy or who seek happiness and have a positive attitude
people who aren't envious
people who don't have high self esteem (self respect is the goal as "high self esteem" can lead to an "i'm
           better than you" attitude)
people who have few expectations
people who are grateful (gratitude is the mother of happiness)

to his list i would add many of my own theories and ideas:

people who have "wins" and make things happen in their lives
people who live by what they stand for
people who are committed to promises, covenants, and such
people who have relegion and who hold themselves accountable to God
people who surround themselves with positive, uplifting things
people who have self worth and confidence
people who engage in doing things that bring them fulfillment and personal satisfaction
people who believe in a Higher Being and strive to follow Him
people who are forgiving and let go of malice and anger
people who know how to have fun
people who smile
people who strive to be content
people who seek for the good, positive in life

happiness is such a fragile thing.  it is not tangible.  you can't buy it (usually).  once you feel it you know it.  it can come and go.  it is attainable to all.  some of us really have to work at it.  some of us rarely feel it.  some of us feel it all the time.  no one can make you happy.  you work for it.  it is worth having.  and working for.

it is our purpose in life to find, feel, and live in a state of happiness.  come what may, don't give up.

in memory of...

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some fav's

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so i thought i'd give this mascara a try...and i really like it.  it doesn't get great reviews but it works for me.  i love the tiny wand because my lashes are tiny (disappearing).  in fact, i starting using "latisse" eyelash magic grower.  i guess i should start to see results after a month or so.  it's almost been that long.  we'll see.  i have always had small/thin lashes - so if this works i'll do it for life.  in the mean time i'm using this mascara and it's the best i've tried so far!

i also just recently invested in a new flat iron:  the "babyliss pro nano titanium".  it gets super hot and feels like silk going down my hair.  sounds stupid but honestly it's great.  lauren loves it too!

i found this blog with great product reviews.  check it out and click on "products i love":  http://www.haironthebrain.com/

so here's another blog i recently found that i TOTALLY LOVE:
http://www.zsazsabellagio.blogspot.com/
oh my gosh...i am hooked!  i love the photography, art, fashion, style, products, inspiration, beauty and i especially love all the words she uses to introduce her exquisite blog!  this is my favorite blog right now!!

here's another one i found.  it has such beautiful quotes ~ many of which i've used and shared:
http://www.abbysgarden.blogspot.com/
i also love many of her sweet creations.

i was a total slug today.  evan had a game and i all but fell asleep in my chair while he played.  i had such a KILLER migraine.  i wish i had more motiviation to do some projects around the house...but i don't.  as long as it's clean and there's food to cook, that's all i care about.  o.k., i am off to make brownies ~ doesn't that sound like a good, healthy dinner?

so....

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so lately i've noticed how people begin to do some exchanging and bargaining and trading in their 40's - i have to admit i, myself, have become a trader in some respects.  here are some examples:

style/fashion.......for comfort ~ like killer heels for crocs... (seriously?  i friggin' hate those shoes)
color......for grey (as in hair ~ but not me, i will go down with color)
firm.......for flab (unless you are highly motivated to really do something about it, which i am not)
chocolate.......for prunes
your right mind.......for no mind
youth dew........for wrinkles
north for south.......as in body parts
beauty marks........for age spots

i could go on but i'm getting bored and it's sinking in.  aging sucks.

wednesday

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today i:

went to target for 2 hours

went shoe shopping for my daughter for 2 hours

ended up finding things for myself...and her shoes

had a moment when i realized tremaine was now at the mtc

only cried 3 times when i thought about him

bought supplies for evan's 4th grade mission project due in the morning

he's had over a month to work on it

we procrastinate

ran to the school to prep for an art lesson i'm doing on friday

picked up lauren who was giddy

think she has a special friend

raced home to do homework with the boys

went to 2 pharmacies to find retainer cleaner, no luck

took lauren to her rehersal

raced home to get evan started on his project

raced to her performance

had ian and the boys leave early to finish the project

walked home laughing with her at nine thirty

she's my shining star

helped evan finish up about ten thirty

we'll be getting up early to rap it up

thought about tremaine at nine and told lauren that i bet he's in bed now in the mtc and saying to himself, "wow, i made it"! 

imagined the huge smile on his face

said prayers with ethan and we had a moment

gave evan a kiss and told him he did a great job

hugged goose and told her she's the best singer and i'm so proud of her

as i watched her perform tonight i thought, "what can i be doing better to help her with her self confidence"?

she has more self confidence than i ever did as a teen

ate two hard boiled eggs for dinner and an orange

oh...and i listened to dennis prager while i drove today ~ he is thee best

gotta get up early for seminary

today was beautiful

i love the la canada choirs

little treasures

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bedroom covet

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i am really coveting this bedroom look right now.  all of it.  i am on a hunt to find this bed!!!!