Feed: Cool Limerick Poems - AggScore: 40.5
Summary: Cool Limerick Poems
Original Limerick poems about real events, real life and real people.
Facebook Goes Splat!
Everyone’s heard by now about Facebook’s flop in the stock market. I’m not sure what’s worse, the inside information handed out to preferred clients before the IPO or the botched execution that still has not accounted for all the shares. Either way it’s bad news for the investors (idiots) who bought the stock. This was a train wreck from the start and entertaining to watch from the sidelines.
Investors are starting to rant
About Facebook shares that they can’t
Seem to locate
But now it’s too late
‘Cause the price has just done a face-plant.
China Shows World It’s Blind Spot
Here’s a great story about a Chinese activist who escaped his house arrest and took refuge in the U.S. Embassy. Chen Guangcheng’s crime was exposing forced abortions in China. Unfortunately, Chinese authorities will punish his relatives because that’s what they do. Despite all the rhetoric about the Chinese economic miracle, they are still a repressive regime of thugs. Which makes it all the better to watch them squirm because…
The Chinese were caught in a bind
When their prisoner managed to find
A way to escape
That left them agape
‘Cause it turns out he’s legally blind.
The Horrors Of Paying Rent
Here’s a story about a family who moved into a new house only to find that it’s haunted. Needless to say, the landlord was unconvinced and refused to return any of their monies. The most unusual part to this story (other than it’s ALL unusual) is that it took place in Toms River, New Jersey…the sight of the filming of the Amityville Horror movie. Perhaps the ghosts had a contract dispute?
Strange happenings caused them lament
So they moved out to much discontent,
But was the house haunted
Or had they just wanted
To skip out on paying the rent?
Another Black Eye for Apple
I continue to ask why people do business with Apple. They are hell-bent to extract as much money from your pocket as they possibly can…legal or otherwise. The Justice department has now formally accused Apple of price-fixing with several major book publishers. Is it a wonder why there is so much content pirating? These greedy publishers deserve to go the way of the dinosaur and are only delaying the inevitable. As for Apple…
At Apple, the price of e-books
Is not quite as fair as it looks.
Now accused of collusion
The only conclusion
Is behavior more related to crooks.
Jet Blue Has A Special Effect On Employees
Here is a scary story. A pilot for Jet Blue started acting erratic in the cockpit, flipping switches and otherwise ‘flipping out’. The co-pilot had the presence of mind to get him out of the cockpit and locked the door behind him. He eventually had to be subdued by passengers until the plane could make an emergency landing. It reminds me of the story a year ago about the Jet Blue flight attendant that quit his job in a flourish by grabbing a beer and jumping down the emergency slide. The company seems to have a real affect on it’s employees…and not in a good way.
There are somethings in life you can do
That you might not do again if you knew,
Like flying on jets
If all that it gets
Is a company job with Jet Blue.
Evolution of the GOP
A new study has the genes of gorillas and apes as closer to man then previously thought. That explains a lot of chest thumping, particularly with the current crop of GOP candidates for President. In apes it’s all a bluff but the GOP would declare war on Twinkies if they thought they could win. So, put two and two together and what do we get…
If apes are now closer to man
I’m thinking that maybe they can
Win an election,
As natural selection
Will still beat the GOP clan.
Santorum Giving God Heartburn
Thankfully, Rick Santorum looks to be out of the GOP race. Not because he’d ever win the Presidency but because every time I read about him “I want to throw up” (in his own words). The guy is another religious wing-nut trying to appeal to the ‘base’ of ignorant conservatives. Even if I was a conservative (never to happen), I’d disassociate myself from the Republican party simply because of the dumb-ass candidates they put forward. God must be upstairs shaking his head “where did I go wrong”?
Santorum has God on the brain
‘Cause he thinks that’s how to obtain
The GOP nod
But he needs more than God
To revive his now sagging campaign.
Afghanistan is Done
Afghanistan deserves to be a shit-hole. Thousands of years of civilization and the best they can do is riot in the streets because someone burned their ‘holy’ book. They’re irrational, ignorant, corrupt and not worth the blood of our soldiers. They have no industry, no economy (other than growing poppy), no brains and no will. It’s safe to assume that if this is the best they can aspire to after two centuries of civilization, then they’re destined be a shit-hole forever. They deserve nothing because they’ve earned nothing. We need to get out yesterday.
Religion is often just mean
And mixed with a crowd can careen
So out of control
To cause a death toll,
Even God must think it’s obscene.
The Most Unlucky Man In The World
Here’s a guy who just had a very bad day. He accidentally flew his small plane into the airspace where President Obama was being ferried to Air Force One. He didn’t realize his mistake until two F16′s appeared outside his window. Once on the ground, they found over 40 pounds of Pot on his plane! The absolute wrong place at exactly the wrong time.
He flew in a space he ought not
And imagine just what he had thought
When he found he’s between
Two F16′s
And carrying a plane load of pot.
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Date Approved: 02/16/2011
By: Anonymous
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