Summary: GenXYZProject
Hey peeps,
Our new website located at
http://www.genxyzproject.com/ is up and
running! All GenXYZ Project posts will be placed on the new site
going forward.
Thank you so much for your ongoing support. We love you!!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ, GenXYZ Junior, and Lil' GenXYZ

Date Published:
Imagine that you’re sitting across from someone you’re pretty
excited about. You’re on date one or two, you think he/she is
hot, you seem to have things in common. And then—cue the
80’s-slasher-flick music—you learn or see something about them
that stops you dead in your tracks. You know that you might as
well throw down your napkin, ask for the check, and go your
separate ways, because it ain’t happening. In other words, you
encounter a dating deal breaker.
We all have them. For GenXYZ, it’s when an otherwise attractive
guy smiles to reveal a horrible Austin Powers-esque grill. For
Gen XYZ Junior, it’s when a dude sends an email or text fraught
with misspellings and grammatical errors. And for me, it’s when a
guy reveals that his favorite bands are Nickelback, Creed, and
Papa Roach. Gag.
I have a weird thing about music. I grew up listening to the best
of 90’s alternative grunge/rock and learned to hate most of the
generally auto-tuned, uninspiring, untalented, and commercialized
musicians of the 2000’s. So I could never seriously entertain the
idea of being with someone who would want to listen to Lil Wayne
or Hinder whenever we were in the car together. I just think that
the type of music you like says a lot about you as a
person—whether you’re a party animal, laid-back, or simply
conventional. It also indicates whether you have a creative bone
in your body. I’ve always been drawn to creative types—it soothes
my inner Zooey Deschanel-wannabe.
That’s why I knew I was in trouble when I met Sam. He has great
taste in music (not to mention killer guitar skills). He liked
some bands that were familiar to me—Radiohead, The Cure, Smashing
Pumpkins, and Mazzy Star—but also introduced me to amazing bands
that were obscure yet unpretentious, like Joy Division, Adorable,
and my all-time favorite, Broken Social Scene. When he gave me a
mixed CD with some of his favorite songs after about a month of
dating, I stayed awake all night listening to it over and over.
At that point I was an absolute goner. It may sound strange, but
our shared love of music played a serious role in our
relationship.
So if you have a six-figure salary, perfectly-chiseled abs, and
hell, even if you’re reasonably nice and smart, but Linkin Park
is currently playing on your iPod—well, let’s just say we’re
better off as friends. That’s my weird dating deal breaker—what’s
yours?
Catch ya later,
Lil’ Gen XYZ

Date Published: Mar 07, 2011 - 1:54 pm
I was looking at my planner today and realized something
unsettling: I’m two months short of two year anniversary out of
college. First thought: I feel old as shit. Second thought: Where
the hell has all that time gone? When I think about it, I guess
I’ve experienced a lot. I moved across the country and made new
friends. I got engaged. I’ve had numerous jobs. But on the whole,
the direction my life is as uncertain as it was the day I shook
hands with the Dean in front of my beaming family and friends.
Today, at 4 PM, I’m going to change into a white men’s dress
shirt with a vest and tie. I’m going to put on my black slacks
and black shoes. Then I’m going to drive to the upscale steak and
seafood restaurant where I work. I’ll polish some silverware,
fold some napkins, and spend the rest of the night running food
and talking about the wet aging process of our steaks. Let me
tell you, this isn’t exactly what I pictured for myself.
I often soothe my wounded pride by reminding myself that being a
waitress isn’t so bad. But whenever I have time to think, I find
myself wondering about what the hell I’m doing. Grad school seems
like the only sane option, but honestly, I’m not even that
excited about it. I know that I should be grateful for what I
have already: a great relationship, a loving and supportive
family, and a handful of amazing friends. But it’s not enough. My
lack of a clear career path feels like a huge gaping hole in my
life—and ego.
It seems like I’m not the only one dealing with these enormous
questions. All the friends I made in college and post-college are
uncertain about their future, too, at least professionally. And
I’m not just talking about 22 or 23-year-olds—I have four good
friends (off the top of my head) between 25 and 30 who are lost,
career-wise, as well. What is it about us? Why the uncertainty?
Is this lack of a clear-cut career and the resulting identity
crisis a commonplace experience—or is it unique to our generation
and our society, at this precise moment in time?
Who knows the right answers to these questions. At the very
least, I hope I hang up my damn server uniform soon, or I’m
calling my alma mater and asking for my money back.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ

Date Published: Mar 03, 2011 - 2:10 pm
Outside of getting drunk a few nights ago, I've recently been on a
bit of a health kick. After stumbling upon an article in Women's
Health magazine, I realized that one thing I could do to improve my
mind, body, and spirit was to start drinking more water. So, I
started drinking water. A lot of water. So much that I felt like I
was on my eighth month of pregnancy with triplets, which wasn't a
big deal until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.
As I looked at my water-swollen stomach, I couldn't help but think
that if I ever get pregnant, this is what I would look like. And
then I lost it. Pregnant?! No way. I just graduated college! Well,
like seven years ago, but so what?! I'm only 28! Im too young!
Well, by most standards, I'm getting a little old, but who's
counting?! Pregnant, baby, diapers, noooooo!!!! I threw on sweat
pants and practically fell out my front door trying to jog off my
water baby. I came back from my jog with a smaller water baby, but
my skin still crawling from the experience. And then it hit me like
a ton of bricks.
To an extent, I am a commitment-phobe. I don't like living in one
place or having one job position for too long. Along with moving a
bunch comes a lack of commitment towards people, namely many old
friends that I lose touch with once they're not within driving
distance. And even though my boyfriend and I have been together for
three and a half years, we're nowhere closer to getting engaged,
mostly because I'm not pushing for it like a lot of chicks my age.
I sometimes feel like I'm the weird one because I'm fine with
renting, not buying, living with my boyfriend, instead of living
with my fiancé, being a bartender/aspiring entrepreneur instead of
a manager or director, and having a rotating door of people in my
life.
Maybe one day, I'll want to settle down and have all the things
that everyone else seems to have, especially the cute baby/family
pictures that everyone is posting on Facebook lately. But until
then, back off Mom and Dad, don't judge Friends Who Have Taken A
Different Path and Everyone please, let me do me for awhile
longer.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ

Date Published: Mar 02, 2011 - 11:01 am
After carefully reviewing multiple locations, spaces, and
prices, I narrowed my choices down to one. The ceilings
were tall, the windows let in the cool ocean breeze, and
depite the fact that the bathroom was a little crappy,
everything felt right. Thankfully, the contract didn't
take as long to fill out, which left me ample time to walk around
at my soon-to-be-new-home, Shock Fitness. After working
out in my last gym, which was located in the middle of Hollywood,
it felt great to walk around a "real" gym, where the equipment is
old school, the people looked normal, and everyone seemed to
be there to...well...work out.
I was basking in my found-a-normal-new-gym glory when I turned the
corner and ran into my workout nightmare; the real gym-goers of
Shock Fitness. With each of their mats lined up side by side,
I watched thirty tightly toned bodies gracefully dive into the
Downward Dog position. As they pointed their perfectly manicured
toes up and their perfectly combed ponytails back, I couldn't
help but notice how perfect their asses looked in what seemed
to be endless miles of spandex. I wondered if I could talk the
membership guy into a return policy.
Back in the day, the gym used to be my Mecca. I could spend hours
running on the treadmill listening to 90s alternative and
attempting to lift weights wearing a crappy t-shirt drenched with
sweat. The gym was a place that I could work out my
frustrations and stress, and I never had to worry about wearing a
matching spandex ensemble. Since moving to Cali, walking into a gym
actually stresses me out. Everyone looks amazing with their
perfectly gelled hair, flawless makeup, and shorts short
enough to be worn at strip clubs. So, my question is where are all
the real people? You know, the ones that actually need to go to the
gym? Well, if they're anything like me, they are probably sitting
at home, bemoaning the stupid gym, exercising their biceps by
reaching into a bag of chips and wishing bathing suit season
would come and go fast. In the meantime, if anyone feels like
starting a normal-bodies-only gym, please let me know. I'll pay
double for a membership!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ

Date Published: Mar 01, 2011 - 4:25 pm
There are always the exceptions to the rule, however, for the
majority of people, I have found that certain things hold true. In
no particular order:
8. Looking or having a serious relationship in college spells
D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R most of the time.
7. If you find yourself trying to change or "better" the person you
are with, chances are, you're with the wrong person.
6. Physical chemistry is just as important as intellectual,
spiritual and emotional chemistry with your partner. And they're
all related.
5. It's 100% normal to find other men/women attractive
even if you are in a healthy relationship. It's acting on it that's
the problem.
4. You shouldn't expect one person to fulfill ALL your needs.
That's what friends and family are for.
3. It's important to have a life outside of being "so and
so"'s girlfriend/boyfriend.
2. Don't sell yourself short. The person you're with should have
the main qualities you look for in a partner- don't settle for
less, because you'll only end up doing both yourself and your
partner an injustice.
1. Open yourself up to different types of people and new
experiences. Assuming they have your core non-negotiables, date a
little outside of your comfort zone. Worst case scenario: you'll
have a good story to tell, best case, you may end up finding
someone special.
From me to you...
Talk to ya later,
GenXYZ Junior

Date Published: Feb 28, 2011 - 1:25 pm
Dear GenXYZ Project,
I'm a 24 year old girl in desperate need of your advice. I can't
seem to hold down a job, boyfriend, or really anything for that
matter. I thought life would begin after I graduated college, but
ever since I finished school, things are more complicated/confusing
than ever! How do I get things back on track?
~ Rachel, age 24, Los Angeles
Lil' GenXYZ: Rachel, check out our post "The Case Against College"
as well as "Graduation from the Quarter Life Crisis". You're
definitely not alone in what you're going through. In fact, you're
more the rule than the exception - hang in there!
GenXYZ Junior: My advice is to set one goal for yourself every few
months and work your rear off to acheive it. Don't set yourself up
for failure, like making your goal "find the perfect career by my
next birthday", rather choose something that's within reach.
This will help you realize that you are capable of doing
whatever you set your mind to and you'll find yourself along the
way.
GenXYZ: Hmm, have you been tested for ADHD? Adderall works wonders
for those unable to hold down jobs. On a more serious note, stop
whining and start doing something...anything. Your 20s are the time
to try anything you want, screw up anything you want, then find
what you want.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at
genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be
treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible for any losses,
personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.

Date Published: Feb 23, 2011 - 12:55 pm
Every few weeks or so, I schedule in a therapy session with myself.
In the session, I go through a mental checklist of
things going on in my life that are making me happy and
the things that are making me not-so-happy in an effort to make
sure I'm working towards being the best me I can be. Today, I
met with myself for a quick session ,which went a little something
like this: Job? Manageable. Relationship? Good.
Friendships? Getting better. Contributions towards
humanity? Bought a bum lunch (not sure if that was a good
contribuition considering I got him fast food). Weight?
Exponentially increasing. Need to go on a diet asap. Therapy
quickly came to an end as I realized my old nemisis, the additional
7lbs, was back.
It never ceases to amaze me how something as trivial
as gaining some extra weight can make or break the way I
feel about myself. Overall, I'm a pretty strong chick.
I've overcome workplace harassment in too many jobs, ran a
full 26.2 mile marathon, dealt with multiple breakups, and even
camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a full week (like real
camping, not the sissy outhouse kind). Sounds like nothing could
knock me down, right? Unfortunately, I'm brought down to
my knees (and not in a good way) everytime I step on the scale
and see a number more than what I deem to be the perfect
weight.
My relationship with food has never been normal, but can best be
explained as this: when I'm miserable, I don't eat and when I'm
happy, I eat down the house. My extra 7 lb body does not always fit
into American society, especially when one lives in San Diego and
bathing suit season is right around the corner. I'm hoping that
some super smart person will build a time machine fast, so I can
transport myself to the 14th century when plump women were
considered hot just until the end of August. In the meantime, I
suppose it wouldn't kill you guys to judge me on my thoughts,
actions, personality, etc., rather than what size muffin top I have
when trying to squeeze into my old jeans.
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ

Date Published: Feb 22, 2011 - 3:19 pm
Tonight I went out to dinner with a good friend of mine, Jane. Jane
is a funny, pretty, up-front and tell-it-like-it-is sort of girl.
She’s also my supreme resource for dating in the modern world,
since I’ve been off the market for a while (see my last post) and
Jane literally goes on two to three dates a week. We hadn’t seen
each other in a while, so Jane brought me up to speed with her
dating life. She started seeing this guy Adam about a week ago.
They went on a couple of dates and had great chemistry and a lot of
fun, she told me. But on date two, a lunch date, Jane made the
mistake of asking Adam what he was up to that evening. “I have
plans,” he told her. “I’m going on a date.“It made me feel like
shit to hear that. I wasn’t happy,” Jane told me. But as we got
further into the conversation, she admitted that she’d probably see
him again. I voiced my disapproval (I personally thought this guy
sounded like the penultimate douchebag), but she just shrugged
nonchalantly. “Look…it’s been a week. We’re not exclusive and so I
have no right to get mad at him. We have a great time
together.”
“Sam and I weren’t seeing anyone else when we started dating,” I
protested.
“Yeah, some people only date one person at a time. But a lot of
them date more than one person. It’s just the way it is
nowadays,” she told me.
“If he has a great time with you, why does he need to keep seeing
other people?” I persisted.
“When you’ve been at this dating thing as long as I have, it
takes more than a week to decide if you want to see someone
exclusively. You don’t normally talk about the fact that you’re
seeing other people, but I asked what he was up to and I actually
respect his honesty. At least I’m going into this whole thing
with my eyes open.”
And that was that. It got me thinking that I really don’t
understand the current state of the dating world as much as I
thought I did. Am I right to think that it’s totally shitty to
date multiple people at once? Or am I just naive? It just seems
so disingenuous to have a great time with someone, to laugh at
their jokes and ask them about their lives and kiss them at the
end of the night, only to do the same thing with someone else—the
very same day, no less. And yet Jane and many other girls I know
seem totally unfazed by this dating multiple people practice,
however much they dislike it.
We put up with “sort-of” quasi-relationships with blurry terms
and commitments (or lack thereof). We have different people in
our speed dials for different needs—the platonic friend when we
need a date to a wedding, the friend-with-benefits when we’re
feeling frisky or even lonely. And now it’s acceptable to take a
different person out to dinner and a movie every night of the
week. Maybe I’m overly picky, but being part of someone’s dating
rotation doesn’t seem particularly appealing to me
Is it just me, or has our generation reached an all-time level
high of dating jadedness? For all those lucky ones who emerge
unscathed from the crazy dating circus with the right person, I
hope all the crap you had to put up with makes the payoff that
much
sweeter.
Catch ya Later,
Lil' GenXYZ

Date Published: Feb 21, 2011 - 4:13 pm
Well, ladies and gents, today's world is definitely a wild world:
really, by anyone's standards. And most would agree, it is pretty
hard to get by just upon a smile. The other day I was talking to a
family member about some of the things that were stressing me out-
and she gave me some great advice, to which the general gist of it
was: sometimes, despite all the insanity going on in your life, you
just have to put on a wide shit eating grin, and eventually that
smile will catch up to you.
It amazes me how something as simple as putting on a fake grin can
really affect your mood and general outlook throughout the day.
It's even more amazing, and perhaps a bit sad, how uncommon this
seems to be in today's world. Think about it: if you saw a random
person standing in line at Starbucks or pumping their gas with a
huge smile on their face, you'd probably do a double or triple
take, thinking to yourself: "what's that crazy person on?" or
perhaps, "where can I get some of that?!"
Yes, it's true that there are a lot of ups and downs in life, and,
for me personally, I think experiencing both positive and negative
emotions are fundamental to being human. However, I'd still take
being happy over being worried, stressed, or sad any day of the
week- so, today, if you happen to see a crazy happy looking girl
walking around, stop by and say hello :)
Talk to you later,
GenXYZ Junior

Date Published: Feb 19, 2011 - 11:28 am
A few days ago, I met up with a very dear friend I hadn't
seen for quite awhile. On the surface, J is a fist pumping, spray
tan loving, gym rat who parties like a rockstar. Underneath
the Affliction t-shirts and massive amounts of hair gel, lies
an incredibly smart guy who calls it like he sees it, perhaps
even more so than me. As we sat down for drinks, I
had barely scanned the first page of the menu when J looked at
me and said "I've been reading your blog. You're in
what I like to call 'Stage 3'...finally growing up." I opened my
mouth to protest his unfair accusation, then quickly shut it.
Growing up? Stage 3? This sounded kind of interesting. I had to
hear more.
Similar to many good looking, successful guys in their 30s, J and
his friends have had a lot of "interactions" with women in their
20s. Over the years, they've come up with a "female growth chart"
that outlines the different life stages we go through (which
subsequently helps them figure out which chicks are easiest to
bang). Now, while I don't have much interest in the part of the
growth chart that gets the boys to...well...grow in a certain area
for lack of a better term, the actual stages that they came up with
are pretty damn accurate.
Stage One: (generally occurs in a female's early
20s) Female mentally puts together her life
progression chart. She's going to be done with college,
vocational school, etc. by age XX, she'll have the perfect career
by age XX, while she simultaneously meets the man of her
dreams. She'll have the perfect wedding followed by the perfect
child by age XX, so on and so forth. Despite the fact that people
try to warn her otherwise, Female knows she is the exception to the
rule. Her life will fall perfectly into place just like she's
planned.
Stage Two: (generally occurs in a female's mid to
late 20s) Female starts to realize that her
life does not completely match the life progression chart
she's come up with. She finished school, but hates her job. Prince
Charming turned into Prince that has many other Princesses, so and
and so forth. No matter though. Female still knows she is the
exception.
Stage Three: also know as
"Self-Actualization" (generally occurs in a female's late 20s
or 30s) Female realizes that past XX years
have had their ups and downs and despite what society tells
her, she knows her life progression chart is a bunch of
bullshit. Female realizes that she is NOT the exception to the
rule. She figures out where her place in the world is and
settles into that position, sometimes for the good, and
sometimes for the bad.
After he finished explaining the different stages, J showed me
how girls we both knew, myself included, fell into each of these
stages. It was scary how accurate he was. So, in conclusion, don't
judge a stripper, gold digger, bartender, or anyone else by her
cover. She might actually be more ahead of you than you realize.
Stage 3 biotches!
Keepin it real,
GenXYZ

Date Published: Feb 17, 2011 - 10:35 am
I’m engaged and underage. Well, sort of. I’m not legally
underage—but being under 25, I’m definitely underage in the court
of public opinion. When my family and friends first learned that
I was going to get engaged soon, their reactions ranged from
incredulous to devastated. “You don’t even know what you don’t
know yet,” one family friend told me. My dad was even more
direct: “You’re going to ruin two lives: yours and his.” Ouch.
But I understand where they were coming from.
After all, people who marry under age 25 have a significantly
higher divorce rate. And conventional wisdom today is that your
twenties are for “having fun.” With age comes life experience and
financial and professional security, all of which come in handy
when you’re making plans to spend the rest of your life with
someone. So why did
I ignore all the conventional wisdom and dire warnings from my
family and friends?
When I met Sam (*not his
real name) during my sophomore year of college, I couldn’t
let him get away. We just worked. I had never been one of
those girls desperate to get her M.R.S., but I knew I always
wanted to be with him. I wasn’t willing to let him go just
because other people thought I was too young. In a world of over
six billion people, I’m not sure how many other men would be
willing to put up with all my crap and love me exactly as I am.
Maybe there’s a handful out there, but they could be in
Antarctica or Venezuela or God knows where. Sam is right here and
he speaks English. So marrying him just makes sense.
There’s something to be said for falling in love once and for the
rest of your life. I’m lucky in that respect. I’ve seen too many
people I love go through horrible breakups. Most of them came out
stronger and more resilient. But some of them have trouble
shaking the pain and damage inflicted by an awful breakup and
failed relationship. Sam has been through it. I haven’t. And you
know what? Having been a shoulder to cry on for countless
girlfriends and several siblings, I don’t envy it. It’s not that
I don’t admire people who come out on the better side after a
breakup, because I do. It’s just that I wouldn’t want to be in
their shoes. That’s part of the reason I’ve never been interested
in “having fun” and dating around. For someone as emotionally
earnest and serious as me, trying people on for size means
heartbreak. I’ve found the right one—what’s the point in
continuing to look?
Some people have asked me, why the rush? There really was none.
By the time we get married this summer, we’ll be a month short of
our four-year anniversary together. Still, I know the timing
isn’t “perfect.” While I have a degree and financial
independence, I have so much shit to figure out yet—namely my
long-term career goals. Sam is about a decade older than me and
has a job he loves, so he has a clearer path than I do. Sometimes
that worries me. But at the end of the day, he’s unconditionally
supportive and I’m free to make mistakes and choose my own way as
I wander through the maze of my early twenties.
Now you know what this Gen XYZ-er has in common with your
grandma: I’m getting married in my early twenties. What can I
say? I never was one to take a conventional route.
Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ

Date Published: Feb 16, 2011 - 1:46 pm
Dear GenXYZ
Project,
I’m having
the hardest time finding a work/life balance. My job is super
demanding and even though I’m logging in insane hours, my boss
still thinks it’s okay to call me the few hours I actually have
to myself at home. I’m reaching a breaking point and don’t know
what to do. My boss has no life and is completely dedicated to
the company, and seems to expect the exact same from me.
Help!!!
K.L., age
27, San Diego
Lil'
GenXYZ: Don’t answer your boss’ calls, don’t check your emails,
don’t even THINK about work on your days off. If your boss
confronts you about it when you get back to the office, remind
him/her that you’re only available on your days off in dire
emergencies and discuss a strategy for handling these issues
during your work week.
GenXYZ
Junior: I have to call upon the choice words of a former First
Lady, Nancy Reagan: Just say no!! Seriously, stop picking up the
calls, stop the insane hours, and see if they get the point; if
they don’t, they likely never will.
GenXYZ:
Start calling your boss on his/her days off and asking very
pertinent, but could-wait-until-Monday questions. I guarantee you
won’t be receiving too many more phone calls when you’re out
trying to have a life.
For
answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at
genxyzproject@gmail.com.
Please note
that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such.
GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and
professional, incurred by the advice stated above.

Date Published: Feb 15, 2011 - 8:38 pm