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Summary: GenXYZProject



Goodbye GenXYZProject.blogspot.com...Hello GenXYZProject.com!!!


Hey peeps,

Our new website located at http://www.genxyzproject.com/ is up and running! All GenXYZ Project posts will be placed on the new site going forward.

Thank you so much for your ongoing support. We love you!!

Keepin it real,

GenXYZ, GenXYZ Junior, and Lil' GenXYZ
Date Published:



My Dating Dealbreaker


Imagine that you’re sitting across from someone you’re pretty excited about. You’re on date one or two, you think he/she is hot, you seem to have things in common. And then—cue the 80’s-slasher-flick music—you learn or see something about them that stops you dead in your tracks. You know that you might as well throw down your napkin, ask for the check, and go your separate ways, because it ain’t happening. In other words, you encounter a dating deal breaker.

We all have them. For GenXYZ, it’s when an otherwise attractive guy smiles to reveal a horrible Austin Powers-esque grill. For Gen XYZ Junior, it’s when a dude sends an email or text fraught with misspellings and grammatical errors. And for me, it’s when a guy reveals that his favorite bands are Nickelback, Creed, and Papa Roach. Gag.

I have a weird thing about music. I grew up listening to the best of 90’s alternative grunge/rock and learned to hate most of the generally auto-tuned, uninspiring, untalented, and commercialized musicians of the 2000’s. So I could never seriously entertain the idea of being with someone who would want to listen to Lil Wayne or Hinder whenever we were in the car together. I just think that the type of music you like says a lot about you as a person—whether you’re a party animal, laid-back, or simply conventional. It also indicates whether you have a creative bone in your body. I’ve always been drawn to creative types—it soothes my inner Zooey Deschanel-wannabe.

That’s why I knew I was in trouble when I met Sam. He has great taste in music (not to mention killer guitar skills). He liked some bands that were familiar to me—Radiohead, The Cure, Smashing Pumpkins, and Mazzy Star—but also introduced me to amazing bands that were obscure yet unpretentious, like Joy Division, Adorable, and my all-time favorite, Broken Social Scene. When he gave me a mixed CD with some of his favorite songs after about a month of dating, I stayed awake all night listening to it over and over. At that point I was an absolute goner. It may sound strange, but our shared love of music played a serious role in our relationship.

So if you have a six-figure salary, perfectly-chiseled abs, and hell, even if you’re reasonably nice and smart, but Linkin Park is currently playing on your iPod—well, let’s just say we’re better off as friends. That’s my weird dating deal breaker—what’s yours?

Catch ya later,

Lil’ Gen XYZ

           
Date Published: Mar 07, 2011 - 1:54 pm



A Bachelor's Degree in Waiting Tables


I was looking at my planner today and realized something unsettling: I’m two months short of two year anniversary out of college. First thought: I feel old as shit. Second thought: Where the hell has all that time gone? When I think about it, I guess I’ve experienced a lot. I moved across the country and made new friends. I got engaged. I’ve had numerous jobs. But on the whole, the direction my life is as uncertain as it was the day I shook hands with the Dean in front of my beaming family and friends.

Today, at 4 PM, I’m going to change into a white men’s dress shirt with a vest and tie. I’m going to put on my black slacks and black shoes. Then I’m going to drive to the upscale steak and seafood restaurant where I work. I’ll polish some silverware, fold some napkins, and spend the rest of the night running food and talking about the wet aging process of our steaks. Let me tell you, this isn’t exactly what I pictured for myself.

I often soothe my wounded pride by reminding myself that being a waitress isn’t so bad. But whenever I have time to think, I find myself wondering about what the hell I’m doing. Grad school seems like the only sane option, but honestly, I’m not even that excited about it. I know that I should be grateful for what I have already: a great relationship, a loving and supportive family, and a handful of amazing friends. But it’s not enough. My lack of a clear career path feels like a huge gaping hole in my life—and ego.

It seems like I’m not the only one dealing with these enormous questions. All the friends I made in college and post-college are uncertain about their future, too, at least professionally. And I’m not just talking about 22 or 23-year-olds—I have four good friends (off the top of my head) between 25 and 30 who are lost, career-wise, as well. What is it about us? Why the uncertainty? Is this lack of a clear-cut career and the resulting identity crisis a commonplace experience—or is it unique to our generation and our society, at this precise moment in time?

Who knows the right answers to these questions. At the very least, I hope I hang up my damn server uniform soon, or I’m calling my alma mater and asking for my money back.

Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ

Date Published: Mar 03, 2011 - 2:10 pm


16 & Pregnant Has Nothin' On This Mama


Outside of getting drunk a few nights ago, I've recently been on a bit of a health kick. After stumbling upon an article in Women's Health magazine, I realized that one thing I could do to improve my mind, body, and spirit was to start drinking more water. So, I started drinking water. A lot of water. So much that I felt like I was on my eighth month of pregnancy with triplets, which wasn't a big deal until I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

As I looked at my water-swollen stomach, I couldn't help but think that if I ever get pregnant, this is what I would look like. And then I lost it. Pregnant?! No way. I just graduated college! Well, like seven years ago, but so what?! I'm only 28! Im too young! Well, by most standards, I'm getting a little old, but who's counting?! Pregnant, baby, diapers, noooooo!!!! I threw on sweat pants and practically fell out my front door trying to jog off my water baby. I came back from my jog with a smaller water baby, but my skin still crawling from the experience. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks.

To an extent, I am a commitment-phobe. I don't like living in one place or having one job position for too long. Along with moving a bunch comes a lack of commitment towards people, namely many old friends that I lose touch with once they're not within driving distance. And even though my boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half years, we're nowhere closer to getting engaged, mostly because I'm not pushing for it like a lot of chicks my age. I sometimes feel like I'm the weird one because I'm fine with renting, not buying, living with my boyfriend, instead of living with my fiancé, being a bartender/aspiring entrepreneur instead of a manager or director, and having a rotating door of people in my life.

Maybe one day, I'll want to settle down and have all the things that everyone else seems to have, especially the cute baby/family pictures that everyone is posting on Facebook lately. But until then, back off Mom and Dad, don't judge Friends Who Have Taken A Different Path and Everyone please, let me do me for awhile longer.

Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Date Published: Mar 02, 2011 - 11:01 am


If You Are 120lbs and Under, Please Go Away.


After carefully reviewing multiple locations, spaces, and prices, I narrowed my choices down to one. The ceilings were tall, the windows let in the cool ocean breeze, and depite the fact that the bathroom was a little crappy, everything felt right. Thankfully, the contract didn't take as long to fill out, which left me ample time to walk around at my soon-to-be-new-home, Shock Fitness. After working out in my last gym, which was located in the middle of Hollywood, it felt great to walk around a "real" gym, where the equipment is old school, the people looked normal, and everyone seemed to be there to...well...work out.

I was basking in my found-a-normal-new-gym glory when I turned the corner and ran into my workout nightmare; the real gym-goers of Shock Fitness. With each of their mats lined up side by side, I watched thirty tightly toned bodies gracefully dive into the Downward Dog position. As they pointed their perfectly manicured toes up and their perfectly combed ponytails back, I couldn't help but notice how perfect their asses looked in what seemed to be endless miles of spandex. I wondered if I could talk the membership guy into a return policy.

Back in the day, the gym used to be my Mecca. I could spend hours running on the treadmill listening to 90s alternative and attempting to lift weights wearing a crappy t-shirt drenched with sweat. The gym was a place that I could work out my frustrations and stress, and I never had to worry about wearing a matching spandex ensemble. Since moving to Cali, walking into a gym actually stresses me out. Everyone looks amazing with their perfectly gelled hair, flawless makeup, and shorts short enough to be worn at strip clubs. So, my question is where are all the real people? You know, the ones that actually need to go to the gym? Well, if they're anything like me, they are probably sitting at home, bemoaning the stupid gym, exercising their biceps by reaching into a bag of chips and wishing bathing suit season would come and go fast. In the meantime, if anyone feels like starting a normal-bodies-only gym, please let me know. I'll pay double for a membership!

Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Date Published: Mar 01, 2011 - 4:25 pm


GenXYZ Junior's Top 8 List on Love & Relationships


There are always the exceptions to the rule, however, for the majority of people, I have found that certain things hold true. In no particular order:

8.  Looking or having a serious relationship in college spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R most of the time.

7. If you find yourself trying to change or "better" the person you are with, chances are, you're with the wrong person.

6. Physical chemistry is just as important as intellectual, spiritual and emotional chemistry with your partner. And they're all related.

5. It's 100%  normal to find other men/women attractive even if you are in a healthy relationship. It's acting on it that's the problem.

4. You shouldn't expect one person to fulfill ALL your needs. That's what friends and family are for.

3. It's important to have a life outside of  being "so and so"'s girlfriend/boyfriend.

2. Don't sell yourself short. The person you're with should have the main qualities you look for in a partner- don't settle for less, because you'll only end up doing both yourself and your partner an injustice.

1. Open yourself up to different types of people and new experiences. Assuming they have your core non-negotiables, date a little outside of your comfort zone. Worst case scenario: you'll have a good story to tell, best case, you may end up finding someone special.

From me to you...

Talk to ya later,
GenXYZ Junior
Date Published: Feb 28, 2011 - 1:25 pm


Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...


Dear GenXYZ Project,

I'm a 24 year old girl in desperate need of your advice. I can't seem to hold down a job, boyfriend, or really anything for that matter. I thought life would begin after I graduated college, but ever since I finished school, things are more complicated/confusing than ever! How do I get things back on track?

~ Rachel, age 24, Los Angeles

Lil' GenXYZ: Rachel, check out our post "The Case Against College" as well as "Graduation from the Quarter Life Crisis". You're definitely not alone in what you're going through. In fact, you're more the rule than the exception - hang in there!

GenXYZ Junior: My advice is to set one goal for yourself every few months and work your rear off to acheive it. Don't set yourself up for failure, like making your goal "find the perfect career by my next birthday", rather choose something that's within reach. This will help you realize that you are capable of doing whatever you set your mind to and you'll find yourself along the way.

GenXYZ: Hmm, have you been tested for ADHD? Adderall works wonders for those unable to hold down jobs. On a more serious note, stop whining and start doing something...anything. Your 20s are the time to try anything you want, screw up anything you want, then find what you want.

For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.

Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible for any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Date Published: Feb 23, 2011 - 12:55 pm


To Eat Or Not To Eat, That Is The Question...


Every few weeks or so, I schedule in a therapy session with myself. In the session, I go through a mental checklist of things going on in my life that are making me happy and the things that are making me not-so-happy in an effort to make sure I'm working towards being the best me I can be. Today, I met with myself for a quick session ,which went a little something like this: Job? Manageable. Relationship? Good. Friendships? Getting better. Contributions towards humanity? Bought a bum lunch (not sure if that was a good contribuition considering I got him fast food). Weight? Exponentially increasing. Need to go on a diet asap. Therapy quickly came to an end as I realized my old nemisis, the additional 7lbs, was back.

It never ceases to amaze me how something as trivial as gaining some extra weight can make or break the way I feel about myself. Overall, I'm a pretty strong chick. I've overcome workplace harassment in too many jobs, ran a full 26.2 mile marathon, dealt with multiple breakups, and even camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon for a full week (like real camping, not the sissy outhouse kind). Sounds like nothing could knock me down, right? Unfortunately, I'm brought down to my knees (and not in a good way) everytime I step on the scale and see a number more than what I deem to be the perfect weight.

My relationship with food has never been normal, but can best be explained as this: when I'm miserable, I don't eat and when I'm happy, I eat down the house. My extra 7 lb body does not always fit into American society, especially when one lives in San Diego and bathing suit season is right around the corner. I'm hoping that some super smart person will build a time machine fast, so I can transport myself to the 14th century when plump women were considered hot just until the end of August. In the meantime, I suppose it wouldn't kill you guys to judge me on my thoughts, actions, personality, etc., rather than what size muffin top I have when trying to squeeze into my old jeans.

Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Date Published: Feb 22, 2011 - 3:19 pm


Are You A Jaded Dater?


Tonight I went out to dinner with a good friend of mine, Jane. Jane is a funny, pretty, up-front and tell-it-like-it-is sort of girl. She’s also my supreme resource for dating in the modern world, since I’ve been off the market for a while (see my last post) and Jane literally goes on two to three dates a week. We hadn’t seen each other in a while, so Jane brought me up to speed with her dating life. She started seeing this guy Adam about a week ago. They went on a couple of dates and had great chemistry and a lot of fun, she told me. But on date two, a lunch date, Jane made the mistake of asking Adam what he was up to that evening. “I have plans,” he told her. “I’m going on a date.“It made me feel like shit to hear that. I wasn’t happy,” Jane told me. But as we got further into the conversation, she admitted that she’d probably see him again. I voiced my disapproval (I personally thought this guy sounded like the penultimate douchebag), but she just shrugged nonchalantly. “Look…it’s been a week. We’re not exclusive and so I have no right to get mad at him. We have a great time together.”

“Sam and I weren’t seeing anyone else when we started dating,” I protested.

“Yeah, some people only date one person at a time. But a lot of them date more than one person. It’s just the way it is nowadays,” she told me.

“If he has a great time with you, why does he need to keep seeing other people?” I persisted.

“When you’ve been at this dating thing as long as I have, it takes more than a week to decide if you want to see someone exclusively. You don’t normally talk about the fact that you’re seeing other people, but I asked what he was up to and I actually respect his honesty. At least I’m going into this whole thing with my eyes open.”

And that was that. It got me thinking that I really don’t understand the current state of the dating world as much as I thought I did. Am I right to think that it’s totally shitty to date multiple people at once? Or am I just naive? It just seems so disingenuous to have a great time with someone, to laugh at their jokes and ask them about their lives and kiss them at the end of the night, only to do the same thing with someone else—the very same day, no less. And yet Jane and many other girls I know seem totally unfazed by this dating multiple people practice, however much they dislike it.

We put up with “sort-of” quasi-relationships with blurry terms and commitments (or lack thereof). We have different people in our speed dials for different needs—the platonic friend when we need a date to a wedding, the friend-with-benefits when we’re feeling frisky or even lonely. And now it’s acceptable to take a different person out to dinner and a movie every night of the week. Maybe I’m overly picky, but being part of someone’s dating rotation doesn’t seem particularly appealing to me

Is it just me, or has our generation reached an all-time level high of dating jadedness? For all those lucky ones who emerge unscathed from the crazy dating circus with the right person, I hope all the crap you had to put up with makes the payoff that much sweeter.                                                                                         

Catch ya Later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Date Published: Feb 21, 2011 - 4:13 pm


Oh baby baby it's a wild world, it's hard to get by just upon a smile


Well, ladies and gents, today's world is definitely a wild world: really, by anyone's standards. And most would agree, it is pretty hard to get by just upon a smile. The other day I was talking to a family member about some of the things that were stressing me out- and she gave me some great advice, to which the general gist of it was: sometimes, despite all the insanity going on in your life, you just have to put on a wide shit eating grin, and eventually that smile will catch up to you.

It amazes me how something as simple as putting on a fake grin can really affect your mood and general outlook throughout the day. It's even more amazing, and perhaps a bit sad, how uncommon this seems to be in today's world. Think about it: if you saw a random person standing in line at Starbucks or pumping their gas with a huge smile on their face, you'd probably do a double or triple take, thinking to yourself: "what's that crazy person on?" or perhaps, "where can I get some of that?!"

Yes, it's true that there are a lot of ups and downs in life, and, for me personally, I think experiencing both positive and negative emotions are fundamental to being human. However, I'd still take being happy over being worried, stressed, or sad any day of the week- so, today, if you happen to see a crazy happy looking girl walking around, stop by and say hello :)

Talk to you later,
GenXYZ Junior
Date Published: Feb 19, 2011 - 11:28 am


Getting Laid Is A Science, Not An Art.


A few days ago, I met up with a very dear friend I hadn't seen for quite awhile. On the surface, J is a fist pumping, spray tan loving, gym rat who parties like a rockstar. Underneath the Affliction t-shirts and massive amounts of hair gel, lies an incredibly smart guy who calls it like he sees it, perhaps even more so than me.  As we sat down for drinks, I had barely scanned the first page of the menu when J looked at me and said "I've been reading your blog. You're in what I like to call 'Stage 3'...finally growing up." I opened my mouth to protest his unfair accusation, then quickly shut it. Growing up? Stage 3? This sounded kind of interesting. I had to hear more.

Similar to many good looking, successful guys in their 30s, J and his friends have had a lot of "interactions" with women in their 20s. Over the years, they've come up with a "female growth chart" that outlines the different life stages we go through (which subsequently helps them figure out which chicks are easiest to bang). Now, while I don't have much interest in the part of the growth chart that gets the boys to...well...grow in a certain area for lack of a better term, the actual stages that they came up with are pretty damn accurate.

Stage One: (generally occurs in a female's early 20s) Female mentally puts together her life progression chart. She's going to be done with college, vocational school, etc. by age XX, she'll have the perfect career by age XX, while she simultaneously meets the man of her dreams. She'll have the perfect wedding followed by the perfect child by age XX, so on and so forth. Despite the fact that people try to warn her otherwise, Female knows she is the exception to the rule. Her life will fall perfectly into place just like she's planned.

Stage Two: (generally occurs in a female's mid to late 20s) Female starts to realize that her life does not completely match the life progression chart she's come up with. She finished school, but hates her job. Prince Charming turned into Prince that has many other Princesses, so and and so forth. No matter though. Female still knows she is the exception.

Stage Three: also know as "Self-Actualization" (generally occurs in a female's late 20s or 30s) Female realizes that past XX years have had their ups and downs and despite what society tells her, she knows her life progression chart is a bunch of bullshit. Female realizes that she is NOT the exception to the rule. She figures out where her place in the world is and settles into that position, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the bad.

After he finished explaining the different stages, J showed me how girls we both knew, myself included, fell into each of these stages. It was scary how accurate he was. So, in conclusion, don't judge a stripper, gold digger, bartender, or anyone else by her cover. She might actually be more ahead of you than you realize. Stage 3 biotches!

Keepin it real,
GenXYZ
Date Published: Feb 17, 2011 - 10:35 am


Engaged and Underage


I’m engaged and underage. Well, sort of. I’m not legally underage—but being under 25, I’m definitely underage in the court of public opinion. When my family and friends first learned that I was going to get engaged soon, their reactions ranged from incredulous to devastated. “You don’t even know what you don’t know yet,” one family friend told me. My dad was even more direct: “You’re going to ruin two lives: yours and his.” Ouch. But I understand where they were coming from.

After all, people who marry under age 25 have a significantly higher divorce rate. And conventional wisdom today is that your twenties are for “having fun.” With age comes life experience and financial and professional security, all of which come in handy when you’re making plans to spend the rest of your life with someone.  So why did I ignore all the conventional wisdom and dire warnings from my family and friends?

When I met Sam (*not his real name) during my sophomore year of college, I couldn’t let him get away. We just worked. I had never been one of those girls desperate to get her M.R.S., but I knew I always wanted to be with him. I wasn’t willing to let him go just because other people thought I was too young. In a world of over six billion people, I’m not sure how many other men would be willing to put up with all my crap and love me exactly as I am. Maybe there’s a handful out there, but they could be in Antarctica or Venezuela or God knows where. Sam is right here and he speaks English. So marrying him just makes sense.

There’s something to be said for falling in love once and for the rest of your life. I’m lucky in that respect. I’ve seen too many people I love go through horrible breakups. Most of them came out stronger and more resilient. But some of them have trouble shaking the pain and damage inflicted by an awful breakup and failed relationship. Sam has been through it. I haven’t. And you know what? Having been a shoulder to cry on for countless girlfriends and several siblings, I don’t envy it. It’s not that I don’t admire people who come out on the better side after a breakup, because I do. It’s just that I wouldn’t want to be in their shoes. That’s part of the reason I’ve never been interested in “having fun” and dating around. For someone as emotionally earnest and serious as me, trying people on for size means heartbreak. I’ve found the right one—what’s the point in continuing to look?

Some people have asked me, why the rush? There really was none. By the time we get married this summer, we’ll be a month short of our four-year anniversary together. Still, I know the timing isn’t “perfect.” While I have a degree and financial independence, I have so much shit to figure out yet—namely my long-term career goals. Sam is about a decade older than me and has a job he loves, so he has a clearer path than I do. Sometimes that worries me. But at the end of the day, he’s unconditionally supportive and I’m free to make mistakes and choose my own way as I wander through the maze of my early twenties.

Now you know what this Gen XYZ-er has in common with your grandma: I’m getting married in my early twenties. What can I say? I never was one to take a conventional route.

Catch ya later,
Lil' GenXYZ
Date Published: Feb 16, 2011 - 1:46 pm


Our-2-Sents: Your Dilemmas Answered in 2 Sentences...



Dear GenXYZ Project,
I’m having the hardest time finding a work/life balance. My job is super demanding and even though I’m logging in insane hours, my boss still thinks it’s okay to call me the few hours I actually have to myself at home. I’m reaching a breaking point and don’t know what to do. My boss has no life and is completely dedicated to the company, and seems to expect the exact same from me. Help!!!
K.L., age 27, San Diego
Lil' GenXYZ: Don’t answer your boss’ calls, don’t check your emails, don’t even THINK about work on your days off. If your boss confronts you about it when you get back to the office, remind him/her that you’re only available on your days off in dire emergencies and discuss a strategy for handling these issues during your work week.
GenXYZ Junior: I have to call upon the choice words of a former First Lady, Nancy Reagan: Just say no!! Seriously, stop picking up the calls, stop the insane hours, and see if they get the point; if they don’t, they likely never will.
GenXYZ: Start calling your boss on his/her days off and asking very pertinent, but could-wait-until-Monday questions. I guarantee you won’t be receiving too many more phone calls when you’re out trying to have a life.
For answers to your work, life, and love questions, email us at genxyzproject@gmail.com.


Please note that all answers given are opinions and should be treated as such. GenXYZ Project is not responsible to any losses, personal and professional, incurred by the advice stated above.
Date Published: Feb 15, 2011 - 8:38 pm


 
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