Feed: Joking Corner - AggScore: 45.3
World's Biggest Angry Birds PlayGround, here in Kuala Lumpur!
World's Biggest Angry Birds PlayGround, here in Kuala Lumpur!
We are attempting to create a GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS™ for the Most
People Playing in a Mobile Phone Game Relay. Come make history,
join in the fun and win fantastic prizes! All happening on 11 June
2011 at Boulevard Strip, Low Yat Plaza, KL from 11am - 9pm. The
date is set, the birds are ready, the record awaits!
Date Published:
Let's get Facebook's attention! Pledge to make Malaysia the Facebook Capital of the world!
Did you
know that we, Malaysia as a nation, spend the most time on
Facebook? We have the highest average friends on Facebook too!
Join this movement to make Malaysia the Facebook Capital of the
World. Pledge your support and you could win an invite to an
exclusive LIVE FB PARTY hosted by DiGi!
Date Published: Apr 19, 2011 - 7:44 pm
Dictionary Joke
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water power
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accident falls into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father : A banker provided by god.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills. ...
Date Published: Apr 13, 2011 - 8:41 am
Keep Your Condom Inside the Car
I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it, just come up and get me."
I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the frontdoor. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.
My future father-in-law was standing outside.
With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
Moral of the story:
Keep your condom inside the car =))
Date Published: Apr 12, 2011 - 8:26 am
We're gonna party like it's your birthday!
Date Published: Apr 11, 2011 - 10:53 pm
Things you didn't know about Maybank yet.
Date Published: Apr 11, 2011 - 10:51 pm
What are you doing this weekend? Let's have some Fun!
I bet there are many activities which you may not even know exist in Malaysia - for example shooting real gun, paramotoring, microlight aircraft, jet tube, disco skating, buggy ride, wakeboarding and so many more fun stufffs! Want to try something fun and new this week? Find them out here!
Date Published: Apr 11, 2011 - 10:48 pm
Too Stupid to Own a Computer
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired This is a true story which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations! ):
Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. "
Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Operator: "Went away?"
Caller: "They disappeared. "
Operator: "Hmm So what does your screen look like now?"
Caller: "Nothing."
Operator: "Nothing??"
Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
Caller: "How do I tell?"
Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"
Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
Caller: "What's a monitor?"
Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??"
Caller: "I don't know."
Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
Caller: "Yes, I think so."
Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: "Yes, it is."
Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
Caller: "Okay, here it is."
Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."
Caller: "I can't reach."
Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"
Caller: "No."
Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"
Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."
Operator: "Dark??"
Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
" Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
Caller: "I can't."
Operator: "No? Why not??"
Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
Operator: "A power....... .. A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"
Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"
Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer!!!! !"
Date Published: Apr 01, 2011 - 9:38 pm
Where is the Baby?
With all the new technology regarding fertility, an 88-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently.
When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, various relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?"one of them asked.
"Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and we can visit for a while first."
Another half hour passed before another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"No, not yet," said the mother.
A while later and again the guests asked, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing impatient, they asked, "Well, when can we see the baby?"
"When it cries!" she told them.
"When it cries?" they gasped. "Why do we have to wait until it cries?"
"Because, I forgot where I put it."
Date Published: Apr 01, 2011 - 9:31 pm
CIA Test
The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists...2 men and a woman
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife."
The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your wife and go home."
The second man was given the same instructions. He tookthe gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five
minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."
The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another, six in a row. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow.
"This gun is loaded with blanks," she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."
Moral of the story : Never put a woman to the test.
Date Published: Mar 30, 2011 - 11:34 am
Interview by NASA
NASA officials were interviewing three prospective astronauts to sent to Mars on a dangerous one-way trip. Only one of the three would go, and that candidate would never return to Earth. The interviewer asked the first candidate, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid to go.
"One million dollars," replied the engineer, "and I want it donated to my alma mater, Rice University."
The interviewer asked the next candidate the same question.
"Two million dollars," answered the doctor, "and I want to give one million to my family and leave the other million to medical research."
The third candidate, a lawyer, was asked the same question.
"Three million dollars!" replied the lawyer.
"Why so much?" the interviewer inquired.
The lawyer replied, "If you give me three million, I'll keep a million, give you a million, and we'll send the engineer."
Date Published: Mar 28, 2011 - 10:10 am
Never Underestimate a Chinese
A Chinese man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to China on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.
The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Chinese man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out.
The Loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Chinese for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the Chinese returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, 'Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?
The Chinese replies: 'Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there safely when I return.'
Date Published: Mar 28, 2011 - 10:06 am
Italian Joke
An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 Months. Very worried, the mother goes to the Drugstore and buys a pregnancy test.
The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says," Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call.
Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the Ferrari and enters the house.
He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, 2 retail stores, a townhouse, a beach front villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest we do?"
At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You f**k her again."
Date Published: Mar 25, 2011 - 12:17 pm
Email Confusion
A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed a wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent out the e-mail.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned from her husband's funeral. The widow decided to check her inbox, expecting condolence messages from relatives and friends.
Upon reading the first message, she fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read as follow:
To : My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Reached
Date : 16 May 2004
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They gave computers here, and we are allowed to send e-mails to loved ones. I've just reached here and have been checked-in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you TOMORROW!
Bye
Date Published: Mar 25, 2011 - 12:10 pm
Blog Updated
Blog had been updated.
The Blog Archive gadget which is previously on your left had already been move to here.
You can also go to the archive page at the link above beside the "Home" link.
Thank you.
Date Published: Mar 25, 2011 - 11:57 am
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Date Added: 02/23/2011
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