MUSIC UPDATE

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OK, maybe not technically "music." More here.

CREEPING FASCISM UPDATE

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It's getting so a man can't climb naked on a billboard. (Thanks to RussellMc)

WHEN YOU WANT A PLACE TO TAKE THE KIDS IN MURFREESBORO

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One restaurant springs immediately to mind. (Thanks to Sharon Lurie)

ADVISORY TO EVERYONE IN AUSTRALIA:

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Don't jog. (Thanks to Ralph)

UNLESS YOU COUNT THE VIEWING AUDIENCE OF 'JERSEY SHORE'

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In a New York art gallery, seven house plants have spent the last seven weeks watching "Strange Skies," probably the first travel documentary for a vegetable audience. (Thanks to catmanmax)

TODAY'S TIP FOR CRIMINALS:

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If you're planning to drive around committing robbery, it's a good idea to use a nondescript vehicle. (Thanks to Rick Harover)

WE SAW THEM OPEN FOR THE DEAD

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The Shark-Bitten Crocodile Poop Fossils (Thanks to Ralph, DavCat and Chuck Cody)

WE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ART

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But we know what makes us uncomfortable. (Thanks to Ralph and DavCat)

THE HAZARDS OF MINDING YOUR OWN BUSINESS

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A Niagara Falls man claims that on two occasions he was just minding his own business outside a city bar when he was shot in the head. (Thanks to Michael McNelis)

WOW

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On Monday he fried up some bacon, put on rubber gloves, and went and wrapped the presents in bacon. By Tuesday, all the bacon-wrapped presents were gone. (Thanks to Claire Martin)

THEN SHE SHOULD LEAVE CANADA

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A Nova Scotia woman is tired of being declared dead. (Thanks to The Perts)

MEN:

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Do not click here. (Thanks to catmanmax)

MEANWHILE IN SPORTS

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Sacred Kingdom suffers twisted bowel (Thanks to Joe Hicks)

CSI: ST. LUCIE

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Florida authorities said an 80-year-old man was arrested for attacking his neighbors' door with a garden hoe because he thought they stole his cookies. (Thanks to Allen at Division)

IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME

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Scientists have figured out how to make fruit-fly sperm glow. (Thanks to Phil Snyder)