Have you ever found yourself making the same mistake over and over
simply because you didn’t know any better at the time?
We’re all human – from time to time we unintentionally make the
occasional blunder due to a bunch of mistaken assumptions running
in the back of our mind.
These false beliefs keep us blissfully unaware that our
ill-informed decisions will actually lead us to disaster!
And you know what? This isn’t a bad thing in itself because
learning from our mistakes adds to our body of knowledge. However,
wouldn’t you want to AVOID making these boo-boos if you COULD?
This is why you need to UNLEARN any incorrect notions that could
cloud your better judgment.
Sometimes, it just takes another pair of eyes to identify the
mindsets that could drive you towards perfectly preventable
mistakes.
Gain some fresh insight by going
HERE.
How many times have you gotten into a situation that yielded bad
results because you had the wrong ideas in mind?
Certain perceptions of men can mess up your chances of having a
great relationship with them. When we assume given things about
the opposite sex, your actions could PREVENT the relationship
from going in a healthy direction.
Thus, let’s take a look at a couple of the most common myths
about men which you need to steer clear of:
#1: Guys are into "low maintenance" women.
Actually, this wouldn't be a problem if the term "low
maintenance" wasn't misconstrued in the first place. Oftentimes,
when some misguided women hear this adjective, they equate it to
having no opinion of their own and being a complete PUSHOVER.
This attitude reminds me of the 1950's housewife archetype often
portrayed in TV sitcoms of the same era.
You know what I'm talking about: Sugary-sweet on the outside, but
brimming with unspoken emotions on the inside.
She's the one who's afraid to mess up a perfectly good
relationship by speaking up too much. This is the kind of girl
who has regrettably shut off her ability to express her feelings
in a healthy way.
Sadly, this glaring misconception is unconsciously driving many
women to behave in a very NEEDY way. In the back of their minds,
they take the idea of being low-maintenance to such an EXTREME
that they've become a mere shadow of their former selves.
Being “low maintenance” in the truest sense of the word is
defined by REALISTIC qualities.
This is a well-adjusted, reasonable person who doesn’t throw a
fit when her partner unwittingly makes the occasional offhand
remark.
(And I emphasize “OCCASIONAL”, as opposed to “habitually”, but
anyway…)
This is also the kind of girl who can properly manage her
feelings MOST of the time and keeps emotional meltdowns to a
reasonable minimum. When it comes to mood swings, low maintenance
women don’t often have these and only under the most stressful of
circumstances.
All in all, this is an ideal picture of what low maintenance is
all about.
Therefore, it’s NOT about being so laid-back to the point where
you’re frazzled and out of breath from trying to please a guy’s
every whim…
…or even TOLERATE selfishness.
And being low maintenance is definitely a far cry from
transforming into a disturbingly submissive version of
yourself.
Remember, there’s a difference between a cool girl that doesn’t
get upset over the little things…
…and the emotional SLAVE who doesn’t have any purpose aside from
sacrificing her dignity and independence in the name of
“love”.
The mentality you should have is that a relationship is NOT the
only thing you have going for you.
If you would make a map of your life right now, would you say
it’s dominated by huge chunks of land exclusively reserved for a
boyfriend?
Or does this map have equally allocated areas meant for your
family, friends, career and hobbies?
Even though we’re always talking about how to get into a good,
healthy relationship, you have to understand that this is only
ONE PART of your multi-faceted self.
The SUM of your pursuits in life defines who you are.
If you build your universe around whether you’re single or not,
your resulting actions will create a very unattractive impression
of neediness.
You wouldn’t want anyone to believe that having a boyfriend is
the ONLY thing that motivates you in life, right? You know you’re
TOO GOOD to act like that.
Don’t get me wrong – it’s WONDERFUL to have a partner who adores
and respects you. That crazy rush you feel when you fall in love
can greatly inspire you do great things in the other areas of
your life.
However, my point is that you should still retain a good sense of
PERSPECTIVE when you *do* get into a relationship. What that
means is that you’d be just as fine even if you didn’t have a
boyfriend at the moment.
Your life was just as fine before you met him, and you can
certainly leave if you’re not being treated the way you should
be.
Of course, I don’t mean this in an arrogant way nor am I
suggesting that our partners should be the pushovers instead!
All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t be scared to leave the
comfort zone of your relationship if it isn’t helping your
personal growth.
Also, in no way should you cover up your true feelings by waiving
your right to SPEAK UP if you need to (i.e. when the terms are
unfavorable).
A good relationship is always a TWO-WAY street, so don’t let the
low-maintenance myth (or rather, misconception) tell you
otherwise.
#2: Falling in Love is Eternal Bliss Guaranteed
The other common trap women fall into is the assumption that
those butterfly-in-the-stomach feelings you first get when you
meet someone will remain CONSTANT in the relationship.
However, this just isn’t going to happen. Even happily married
couples who’ve been together for decades know that their initial
infatuation for each other evolved into a deeper and more MATURE
sense of loving.
This kind of love goes beyond the initial rush that all new
couples go through. This is the love that’s weathered countless
emotional storms, power struggles and other CHALLENGES.
The end result is a rock-solid relationship that doesn’t
constantly require you to feel the heart-quickening rush found in
infatuation.
But there’s no reason to panic over this fact of life. You
shouldn’t be afraid of outgrowing this primary stage in your
relationship since better things are headed your way.
Over time, the falling in love stage will eventually be replaced
by something more powerful in the long run. It’s just that you’re
going to go through a series of trials as a couple before you get
there.
Don’t buy into the myth that loving your guy as you do now will
be enough to get you through the years. Remember that neither of
you are perfect; somewhere along the way, your “little”
differences are going to catch up to you.
(I’ve heard of couples breaking up over their brand of
toothpaste, but hopefully your own relationship won’t go to that
extreme!)
I’ll be honest with you here – you’re going to FIGHT tooth and
nail over things like this, and you’re going to wake up and smell
the coffee sooner or later. But power struggles are NORMAL after
the familiarity settles in.
If you can accept the reality that love will inevitably undergo a
transformation over time, then you’ll have no reason to worry
about the growing pains in your relationship.
Otherwise, insisting that everything will run smoothly or take
care of itself will BLIND you to speedbumps in the future.
Of course, I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy the moment because
being HAPPY is the point of having a relationship, right?
You just have to be aware that things will change eventually.
However, you can stay happy as long as you’re cool with having to
deal with the reality check phase in due time.
(No need to worry your pretty little self about stuff UNTIL you
have to!)
All in all, finding happiness in a man’s arms is best done by
keeping a REALISTIC perspective no matter how head over heels you
may feel at a given moment.
There are a lot of impractical beliefs and notions that we women
are unnecessarily exposed to in these modern times. Like it or
not, picking up unrealistic perceptions of love and dating is
just a TV show or DVD rental away.
In this confusing sea of misinformation, a sassy girl definitely
needs to keep her wits afloat!
For the most part, whatever we read in books or see onscreen are
distilled versions of life at best. It doesn’t necessarily
reflect what happens in REAL situations!
So we can’t project unrealistic fantasies onto real life and NOT
expect to run into problems!
The real world naturally includes the complexities of human
behavior. You need to keep this in mind when considering what men
want from us and what we should expect from them.
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This article comes to you courtesy of
www.meetyoursweet.com
If you are serious about changing your love life success, the
first step on your journey of self discovery needs to be with
Meet Your Sweet’s “Get a Guy Guide.”
If you want genuine men, and not just any man, let Mirabelle
Summers and the team challenge your beliefs about love and
attraction, and show you the way to become a seduction success
story.
No games. No scripted lines. Real life dating advice for real
women!
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