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Pets Press, Connecticut’s only FREE newspaper for pets and the people who love them, reviews Bad to the Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger.

Pets Press is a monthly publication that talks directly to animal adoring pet owners with quality stories and in-depth authoritative features, photos, product news and reviews, advice columns, letters to the editor and more.

Any review that starts out with the following, is one that I know I’m going to like:

This year’s newest doggy novel, “Bad To The Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger ” by Bo Hoefinger, is the most entertaining novel ever written by a dog. You’ll thoroughly enjoy this page turner from cover to cover.”

Make sure to pick up a copy if you live in Connecticut.  Otherwise go to petspress.net and download a pdf version of the current month’s edition.

I always hear my parents telling prospective pet owners how wonderful we faithful creatures are.

Clearly there’s a bit of an up-sell there, and something I’m quite appreciative of, when they look to match a homeless animal to a needy human. But is it really necessary?

All studies I’ve read have shown absolutely, positively no downside to the relationship…from a human’s standpoint. For the pet, there’s quite a few negatives but we’re willing to let it slide for some free kibble. Hey, it’s what makes us more adorable than we already are.

So I read today’s paper and I see one human didn’t get the memo. It seems he’s got an issue with none other than his dogs. Yeah, his best friends!

Come to find out he has an invention he wants to sell to the world. Sure it’s clever, even thoughtful, but did he have to throw his love machines under the sanitation bus?  I’ll let you be the judge.

The Detroit Free Press has the scoop (pun intended).

For the last two years, Curt Fournier of Linden plopped himself into all things dog poop.

Fournier, founder of GreenDog LLC, a start-up company in the pet-waste disposal industry, consulted doctors and veterinarians; he perused blogs and online forums, looked at countless studies and even did a few of his own.

“I could probably teach a class on dog poop at this point,” joked the 34-year-old Flint native.

He ain’t the only one.

Fournier’s research was the basis for the development of the Powerloo, an outdoor, hands-free, flushable toilet for dog waste.

The Powerloo works much like a indoor toilet. It sits just below ground level and taps into sewer lines that lead to waste treatment centers. Priced at a bit less than $1,000 a unit, the device comes with an optional heating unit to prevent freezing.

“Both the Centers for Disease Control and Environmental Protection Agency say pet waste should be flushed down a toilet, but up until this point, there was really no safe or convenient way to do so. Carrying dog poop into your house can be unsafe, and not to mention gross,” Januszewski said.

According to the EPA, dog waste is a leading contributor of water contamination and also carries harmful parasites and pathogens that have the potential to infect humans and other animals.

“Vicki and I were getting tired of cleaning up the mess left by our two dogs and thought that being able to flush it down a toilet in the backyard would make things easier,” Fournier said.

GreenDog expects to produce 500 Powerloos in 2009. Fournier projects that by 2011, GreenDog could produce as many as 12,000 units, with revenue potentially reaching $12 million.

While pet owners will be a target market for the company, GreenDog also plans to market the Powerloo to municipalities and businesses such as dog breeders, doggy day care centers and pet-friendly apartment complexes.

If my old man ever installed the Powerloo in our back yard, I’d make sure to use it the way he uses our inside toilets. Yup, I’d make it a point to pee all over the Powerloo’s seat and then dribble the rest on the ground.

That way, he’ll know how my mother feels.

Photo courtesy of RASHAUN RUCKER/Detroit Free Press

Most authors know an important step in getting the treat that is a book deal is to get signed by a literary agent.

I was fortunate to have found the one agent in the industry with an open mind, open enough to sign a dog to a contract. I don’t know what was in Barbara Poelle’s water bowl, but I’d like to get me some of it too. Regardless, she or even Irene Goodman herself, can put me on a leash and walk me anytime.

For those chasing the dream, know that it’s hard work but with faith, and a never say die attitude, it can happen. Of course you could just roll over and play dead but that won’t get you in print, although the belly rub feels almost as nice.

To inspire you I’ve attached the ‘Money’ page of my contract with Barbara.

My father says I write like a veterinarian so I hope you can make out my signature. Personally I think BP’s signature is messier than mine, but that’s probably because she has so many contracts to sign.

Bad to the Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie has hit the Big Apple’s big screen.

Featured on Times Square’s jumbotron, my lovely mug was on display for all New Yorkers to see…well for a few seconds anyway.

My father thinks he’s being worldly when he says this about New York, “Bo, if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.”

Surely he knows that not only did I make it New York but I’ve been making it in Georgia too. All he needs to do is walk in the backyard and step in some of my recent work for confirmation.

Now if I could just get him to drive me to Rockefeller Plaza to pee on that big tree, all my dreams will be fulfilled.

I remember the good old days when the only thing watching me was my parents, and then only for a moment or two.

You see, they’d lose interest quickly after letting me outside to do my business in the fenced in yard. I always helped my cause by laying down after my initial burst of energy. Of course I was faking being tired since there was exploring to do.

After enough time had lapsed, I’d head to the fence at the back of the property and dig out underneath it.  Just like that, I’d be free to roam the streets of suburbia for the day. Good times, my friends, good times.

Those days of going ‘freestyle’ are quickly coming to an end, not only for me, but for everyone.  We now have cameras monitoring our every move, gps tracking collars around our necks and bodies embedded with microchips.

There’s even rumor I’ll be taxed for every yard I run through! What’s society coming to?

Here’s a hint of the next stage of government imposition being thrust upon us…check out what’s happening in Germany.

A German lawmaker proposed on Monday a novel and high-tech way of dealing with the menace of dog poo on the streets: DNA testing to identify the canine culprit and fine its owner.

Peter Stein, a conservative politician in eastern Germany, told AFP that under his proposal, officials would test the excrement and then match it up to the offending dog using a DNA database of all pooches.

German dog owners are fined 30-40 euros (40-50 dollars) if they fail to clean up after their pets, but very few are caught, with only four fines given out in Stein’s hometown of Rostock — human population 200,000 — last year.

“Just saying ‘it wasn’t my dog’ will not wash any more,” Stein said.

I gotta go. I’ve got some cleaning up to do.

Given the state of the world…this story sounds about right.

Employees of a US pet shop expecting a shipment of tropical fish and salt water received a man’s dead body instead.

He says he learned the body was that of a 65-year-old San Diego-area man who died of early onset Alzheimer’s disease.

The body was supposed to go to a research laboratory in Allentown, a 70-mile (113-kilometer) drive away.

US Airways Inc. released a statement saying the air cargo problem was caused by a “verbal miscommunication between a delivery driver and the cargo representative.” The Tempe, Arizona-based airline says it’s deeply sorry.

I wonder if the pet store employees were tipped off when the cargo representative was a fish.

We all live by rules, but there are times they need to be broken.

Take for instance, this blog. I have a stringent rule that I only highlight stories about dogs, cats, and whatever other wacky animals cross my path. I do not blog about humans. I figure they get enough press without me heaping more attention on them.

But today, I make an exception. Is it because I want to highlight a luxurious hotel in hopes my parents will take me to it? Do I want to focus my laser like attention on a fun weekend getaway in an adventurous new place? Or do I want to show you just how ridiculous the species with opposable thumbs really are?

I’ll let you decide while you read the full story from Reuters.

NANTES (Reuters Life!) – It’s a unique concept according to its creators, a hotel in the French town of Nantes is offering the chance for people to become a hamster.

For 99 euros ($148.10) a night, you can eat hamster grain, run in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in what is called the “Hamster Villa.”

Maud and Sebastien are the first ones to experience how hamsters live, not afraid at the thought of sleeping in hay or feeding on a hamster fountain and special grain.

It’s a unique experience and, the guests say, just something different.

“To become a hamster, eat seeds, change our way of life…come out of our daily routine” Maud and Sebastien told Reuters TV..

The owners, Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho, run a company which rents out unusual and bizarre places.

“The Hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small,” Falquerho said, dressed as a hamster.

However, the price is soon to go up as today’s hamsters need, according to the owners, Wifi and a giant TV screen.

Hotel officials indicate Richard Gear need not apply.

Of course you need to see the video:

I’m not a fan of pigeons. The last time I was in the city, one took the opportunity to decorate my head.

Normally I’m not against poop, heck I enjoy eating some brands, but pigeon dung really shouldn’t even be classified as such.

Regardless of my feelings for the species, there are limits to what they should have to endure. That limit should stop just short of what happened to the two birds in the following story.

An Australian traveller was caught with two live pigeons stuffed down his trousers following a trip to the Middle East, customs officers said today.

The 23-year-old man was searched after authorities discovered two eggs in a vitamin container in his luggage, said Richard Janeczko, national investigations manager for the Customs Service.

They found the pigeons wrapped in padded envelopes and held to each of the man’s legs with a pair of tights, according to a statement released by the agency. Officials also seized seeds in his money belt and an undeclared eggplant.

Charges of wildlife smuggling – which carry a maximum penalty of 10 years imprisonment and a fine of 110,000 Australian dollars (£48,600) – could be brought against the man.

Is that a pigeon in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

“A real treat. Bo is so distinctively adorable and funny, that no other dog will be able to follow in his pawsteps.”
–Tracie Hotchner, author of The Dog Bible and host of DOG TALK (NPR affiliate WLIU-FM 88.3 radio show)

“You’ll laugh, you’ll howl, you’ll practically wag with pleasure…Bo is truly the voice of his doggy generation.”
–Dr. Marty Becker, Resident veterinarian on ABC TV’s Good Morning America, Host of “The Pet Doctor with Marty Becker” on PBS, Author of 17 pet books, Nationally syndicated columnist, and co creator of PetConnection.com

“A well-written and fun read…Bo takes you inside his family and you feel as if you’re right there experiencing all the joys and pains with them. You’ll want to hug your own dog after reading this book!”
–Suzanne Jalot, Editor-In-Chief of DOGliving magazine

“Bo’s rebel adventures in naps and squirrels will stir the heart and stoke human understanding of how dogs must think. His “voice” is utterly original, sharp, and kind.”
–Monica Collins, “Ask Dog Lady” columnist, host of AskDogLady radio show

“Witty commentary and hilarious observations.”
–DOGliving magazine

The FUNNIEST book by a dog I ever read!!, October 10, 2009

The book Bad to the Bone: Memoir of a Rebel Doggie Blogger has to be one of the funniest and most original books I have ever read. Where else can you spend hours laughing at a sneak-peak before sending a friend/family doggie-lover one of the most unique gifts they will ever have? In that case, you may have to order two — one for you and one as a gift!

Written by a “one-time” reject shelter dog who has his own blog online now ([...]) which is also hilariously funny….Bo tells it as he sees it. Coming from the school of hard-knocks, Bo is adopted by the Hoefingers and teaches them to care for him …. properly! And when they end up moving to Georgia, their list of pros and cons did not have Bo’s name on it, nor his best cat friend, Moose.

“My parents never considered the vast amount of land in our backyard I’d be giving up or the clear alpa dog stature I had achieved in the neighborhood. Nor was the fact considered what effect the sultry Southern weather would have on an extremely hairy dog. Nope, none of that mattered. This decision was ALL about them.”

Instead, Bo’s mother goes to the store and rents the movie “Gone with the Wind” prior to going house-hunting after they had moved to Georgia…..I tell no lies. This was done in order to forewarn Bo about their new living quarters so he would not be disappointed about where they would soon be living. This is just one of the many side-splitting moments in the book!

Buying this book is a once in a lifetime gift for yourself or someone else, a pathway to sheer adventure and pure warm fun…. from a dog’s point of view! And if that doesn’t get to your heart, nothing will.