Wedding Toasts And Jokes

---

Wedding Toasts And Jokes

Wedding Toasts And Jokes

Looking For One-liners Or Humorous Jokes For A Wedding Toast... Can You Help? [ Read More ]

I Have To Give A Wedding Speech?i have to give a Wedding speech, toast to the groom. i'm looking for a few good Wedding Jokes to tell. any suggestions? [ Read More ]

Joke:::::A Wedding Toast.?A Posh Hotel holds 3 weddings on the same day And at the end of the night, the 3 grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the days events over a couple of beers. One questions the other two, 'listen, it's our Wedding night And I was wondering - how many times are we expected to...um...you know.... DO IT??? Eventually, they all decide to retire to their respective wives And see how the night goes, with the idea to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on. Suddenly one of the grooms pipes up, 'Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first nights marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sat with us' 'No you're right. What we'll do then, is for every piece of toast we order with our breakfast, that'll be the amount times we did it', offers another groom. They all decide it's an excellent idea And depart. The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit disheveled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room to their tables. The waitress comes up to the first groom to take his order, 'Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with THREE pieces of toast please'. The other two grooms smile at him And raise a glass of fresh orange in a toast to his fantastic prowess. The waitress moves to the second couple, And the groom orders, 'I too shall have the full English breakfast but could I have FOUR pieces of toast' The waitress gets to the last groom. 'I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have...' he takes a deep breath, 'SEVEN, yes SEVEN PIECES OF TOAST' he calls for everyone's benefit, whilst giving a big cheesy grin to his two Wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief at the thought how raw his poor schlong must be. 'Seven pieces of toast sir?' queries the waitress, 'Why, that's an awful lot' 'Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is.' She writes down his order And turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again... 'And by the way love, can you make two of those Brown?' [ Read More ]

Can Someone Explain This Marriage Joke For Me And Is This Suitable In A Wedding Toast To The Bride And Groom?Women are unpredictable. Before marriage, she expects a man, after marriage she suspects him, And after death she respects him. Thanks everybody...nice...my class added that in the toast to the bride And groom. it was done in our oral communication class And i am suppose to write a critique of his special ocassion speech.TNX..more answers are wlcome athough this is due tomorrow afternoon at class. [ Read More ]

Wedding Toast Ideas...My Brother Is Getting Married Soon (i Am The Best Man)... Need Help With The Toast...?I am the best man at my brother's wedding... i need toast ideas... actually ideas... jokes... quotes... touching one liners... any suggestions [ Read More ]

Can I Have Some Witty Jokes / Anecdote For A Toast Masters Speech For A Wedding...?Any web site with similar contents are also welcome.. [ Read More ]

'i Hope You Don't Get Less Sex Than Katy'... What's So Funny About This Wedding Toast? I Don't Get It...?somebody gave a toast on our friend's Wedding And as far as i know, nobody around our circle is named Katy, Kathy, Cathy, Kate, Katie or such. yet most of them laughed. seemed i didn't get the joke And it's been a week now And i couldn't get out of my head. i should have asked right there And then what's it all about. any ideas? [ Read More ]

Friends - Chandler Bing Made A Joke During His Pre Wedding Speech In London About Toast, What Was It?was it Imelda toast? I just need to know what that is, thanks [ Read More ]

Ideas For Wedding Toast...?My cousin is getting married And I haven't met his fiance yet. We were like brother And sister growing up And have always been close. I have a month before my flight And just can't find the words to say. Any ideas? We are a pretty witty family so Jokes would probably be good too. Thanks everyone [ Read More ]

Why Is This Funny? Heard This At A Wedding Toast- 'i Wish (for The Bride) You Get More Sex Than Katy'...(?)?more than half of the guests laughed! yet i wasn't able to get the joke. for all i know, neither of them doesn't have a friend name Katy. if there were, she shouldn't have been the one mentioned, right? who could have been that Katy, Cathy, Kate or whatever... i just want this out of my head so i can laugh And rest. do you know about this joke? please help! [ Read More ]

Wedding Toast Help Please?my GF is the maid of honor And her best friend is getting married, she needs a joke. Her friend is a big animal lover, she has lot of dogs, but now she is finally bringing a man into house. how can we turn that into a joke? any help is appreciate it ! [ Read More ]

Jokes About Marriage? Have To Make A Toast, For The Love Of God Help Me, Please?I couldn't be worse at remembering jokes. There've been some pretty funny ones I've heard, but none come to mind. I already have a story about the couple lined up that I'm putting into it. Toast = at a wedding, for anyone who isn't following my less than coherent train of thought here. 'Appropriate' isn't an issue. They can be pretty brutal jokes, everyone who's going to be there has a pretty solid sense of humor, And the bride is as twisted as I am so I know how far to push it. It can be pushed pretty far. Thanks! <3 Hahaha - They've only really worn collars because they're in a punk band. But that'd be a pretty sweet wedding. Maybe one day <3 I still have faith in the good people of GWS but I have a backup going in case this doesn't pan out. So far, the other one's had two answers that made me laugh for real. Win/win ^5 Skimming links now, you guys rock <3 Theo - I laughed for real! Thanks, I'll try And incorporate 'dabber' in there somewhere haha Maybe I've already made out with her And the novelty's worn off. Also, what exactly is your system for keeping track of every answer everyone's ever given? Are you old school And jot it all down in shorthand And file it? Just have more CDs full of them than you can count? Are they in alphabetical order? Break it down for me a little ^5 Gotcha - Haha, thanks. I'm looking for Jokes *specifically* about marriage/married life, but that was still nice =o) [ Read More ]

I Am A Bridesmaid And The Bride And Groom Have Asked Me To Give A Toast To The Groomsmen. Any Ideas?I know a lot of people have never heard of a bridesmaid giving a toast to the groomsmen, but this is what I was asked to do. I would like it to be very funny because I know all the groomsmen very well. Unfortunately, I can not make the usual joke about hooking up with a bridesmaid because they all are either married or dating. The Wedding is next weekend And I need help. Thank you for your help! [ Read More ]

Wedding Night?Wedding Night March 20th, 2007 AskMen.com Rates This Joke: 8/10 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A posh hotel has three weddings on the same day, And at the end of the night, the three grooms meet up at the bar to discuss the day's events over a couple of beers. One asks the other two: 'Listen, it's our Wedding night And I was wondering -- how many times are we expected to... um... you know... do it?' Eventually, they decide to retire to their respective wives And plan to meet up the following morning over breakfast to discuss what went on. Suddenly, one of the grooms pipes up, 'Hold on lads, we can't discuss our first night's marital goings on over the breakfast table with our new wives sitting with us.' 'You're right. What we'll do then, is make every piece of toast we order with our breakfast represent the amount of times we did it,' offers another groom. They all decide that it's an excellent idea And depart. The next day in the hotel dining room, the grooms are all looking a bit disheveled, but that's nothing compared to the brides, who can barely stagger across the room. The first groom places his order with the waitress: 'Hello, I'll have the full English breakfast with three pieces of toast please.' The other two grooms smile at him And raise a glass of fresh orange juice in a toast to his fantastic prowess. The waitress moves to the second couple And the groom orders, 'I too shall have the full English breakfast, but could I have four pieces of toast?' The waitress gets to the last groom. 'I shall also have the full English breakfast please, yet I shall have...' he takes a deep breath, 'seven, yes, seven pieces of toast,' he calls for everyone's benefit, while flashing a big grin to his two Wedding mates, who stare at him in disbelief. 'Seven pieces of toast sir?' asks the waitress, 'why, that's an awful lot.' 'Yes indeed young lady, seven pieces of toast it is.' She writes down his order And turns away, but before she can leave, the groom calls after her again And says, 'And by the way love, can you make two of those brown?' [ Read More ]

Wedding Toasts And Jokes