Feed: MAD KANE'S HUMOR BLOG - AggScore: 69.3

I understand why buying a car or a home appliance or pricey wine would require some research. But purchasing towels shouldn’t be all that complicated. So why is it that whenever my husband and I buy towels, they suck? Actually the problem is … they don’t suck.

Neither High, Nor Dry (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Our new towels seemed fine at first blush.
They were velvety smooth and so plush.
But they don’t absorb well.
You might say they repel.
Can’t our towels act more like a lush?

I can’t imagine that too many guests have stormed off a Larry King interview. But “author,” sex tape star, and former Miss California Carrie Prejean tried to … and failed.

Donald Trump must be so proud! (You can find my Carrie Prejean limerick and a link to the Larry King video here.)

Ode To Cappuccino (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

When my hot cappuccino’s denied me,
I am steamed. I must have it inside me.
So beware of my ire.
My need is quite dire.
Espresso/foamed milk, or else hide me!

Counted Out
By Madeleine Begun Kane

They praised his accounting as splendid,
But told him his contract had ended.
So why was he sacked?
His report said they lacked
Enough cash—they were overextended.

I’ve written a limerick about the Balloon Boy saga here on my other blog.

Are you suffering from Facebook friend envy? Do you have a few hundred spare bucks lying around? Then uSocial, an Australian marketing company, is eager to help you buy thousands of “targeted” Facebook friends and fans and Twitter followers.

Are you as creeped out about this as I am?

The Price Of Facebook Friendship (Limerick)
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Feeling lonesome? Don’t have enough friends?
You can try out this latest of trends:
Buy pals by the litter
At Facebook and Twitter.
Pay cash and your loneliness ends.

What’s with prominent celebrities and pols whose last names begin with “W”? Joe Wilson, Kanye West, and Serena Williams have all made unspeakably rude public asses of themselves during the last few days. And so the worlds of politics, entertainment and sports have all come together in a sad celebration of awful behavior followed by inadequate apologies.

Here’s my limerick tribute to their unseemly public tirades:

Ode To Incivility
By Madeleine Begun Kane

Must pols and celebs be so rude?
And display a despicable ‘tude?
Misters Wilson and West
And Ms. Williams, it’s best
To attempt not to act so unglued.

Just posted on my other blog: a limerick ode to showerhead bacteria.

Friday, September 11th was my birthday — one of those traumatizing, ends-with-zero birthdays. So I told my husband Mark that, unless he wanted me to be a basket case on nine-eleven, he’d better plan something good.

So, did Mark rise to the occasion? He sure did, as I describe in this three-verse limerick:

Happy Birthday To Me
By Madeleine Begun Kane

My nine-one-one birthday was great!
Hubby Mark planned a fabulous date:
God of Carnage — fine play —
Four fab stars on Broadway.
Yes, I married a wonderful mate.

The play featured James Gandolfini,
Who did not play a mafia meanie.
Hope Davis starred too
And Jeff Daniels. Woo Hoo!
Marcia Harden’s the fourth. Creds ain’t teeny.

We dined on gourmet Mex cuisine:
Toloache’s the best I have seen.
And we drank and we danced
At two bars. Age advanced?
Well, perhaps … but I felt sweet sixteen.

(Cross-posted on my political humor blog.)

I usually post my multitasking humor here. However, since my latest multitasking limerick (Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Texting?) has some political overtones, I’ve posted it in my political humor blog instead.